IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Two weeks ago you bought a radio from a local branch of a well-known chain of shops. It did not work properly. The shop took it back and said they would repair it. You have waited a week and it is still not ready. Write a letter to the shop. In your letter say what has happened and how you feel ask them to explain why there has been a delay ask them to repair the radio very quickly or to supply you with a new radio You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#minutes #two #weeks #radio #branch #chain #shops #work #shop #week #delay #repair #addresses #sir #madam
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Dear Sir, I hope
this
 email finds you in good health. I am writing
this
 email to express concern about the
radio
 that you were supposed to deliver after repair. Two weeks back I bought a
radio
 (Casio brand) from your renowned chain shop.
Although
 I paid almost 35 dollars for
this
 trendy
device
, unfortunately,
this
device
 was not functioning well because of technical problems with the start button.
This
 is because I am disappointed as I did not expect
this
 kind of service from an esteemed company like yours.
However
, as I have been experiencing technical problems with
this
device
and
Correct word choice
apply
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I, immediately contacted with customer service section and they confirmed that the product would be delivered within one week after fixing the technical problem. But it is a matter of sorrow that the
device
 has not been returned yet.
Thus
, I am expecting an explanation against
this
 unnecessary delay. I would like to request you to deliver the
radio
 as early as possible or you may supply me
a
Change preposition
with a
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new
radio
with
Change preposition
of
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 the same brand
instead
 of
faulty
Add an article
the faulty
show examples
 one. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best Regards, Faisal Mahamood
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your letter is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You started strongly but mixing issues (such as the introduction of the problem and requests for action) in single paragraphs can muddle your main points.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate different ideas or requests clearly. Each paragraph should discuss a specific aspect of the issue or a particular request. This makes your letter easier to follow and more effective at conveying your message.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. You made an initial complaint, asked for an explanation of the delay, and requested a fast repair or a new product. However, expanding on the impact of the delay on you personally could enhance your response.
task achievement
While your tone is generally suitable for a formal letter, be careful with word choice to maintain formality throughout. Avoid colloquial expressions and ensure your language is polite but firm. For example, 'It is a matter of sorrow' could be rephrased to 'I am disappointed' for a more direct and formal expression of your feelings.
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