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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #fulltime #summarise #information #features #comparisons
Looking at the bar chart , a piece of information about
male's
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males
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 and female's
involvment
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involvement
 in
education
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the education
show examples
 process in
Britan
Correct your spelling
Britain
show examples
 can be observed. The statistics
shows
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show
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 three different time frames and the difference between
number
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a number
the number
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 of people who
prefered
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preferred
 part-time or full-time education.
To begin
 with, the fact that full-time education was rarely elected by people in comparison with part-time ,is quite noticeable.
For example
 ,in 1970/71 1000
thousand
 men
was
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were
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 involved in part-time,
whereas
 the indicator for full-time was 10 times lower.
In addition
, when it comes to women
in
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apply
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this
 year ,it can be seen that their
digit
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digits
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 even half as much in full-time when compared to men.
However
, to 1990/91
idicators
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indicators
 for both
gander
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gender
show examples
 show
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar pattern,which riched the top of 200
thousand
. Looking more closely,
chart
Add an article
the chart
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 demonstrates that the number of male part-timers had a tendency to decline. In 1990/91 their digit was around 900
thousand
,
while
 women's interest
growth
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grew
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 dramatically. From 700
thousand
 in 1970/
71
Add a comma
71,
show examples
 it increased to 1100
thousand
 in 1990/91.
Overall
, the chart depicts that involvement in
part-time
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the part-time
a part-time
show examples
job
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jobs
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 was less popular among both genders throughout
Correct article usage
the 20-years
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20-years
Correct your spelling
20-year
 time frame
Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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