Advances in computer technology allow young adults to work from home and children to study at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative change? Write at least 250 words.
Cutting-edge technologies in electronic devices,
such
as computer
, facilitate youth to telecommute and Fix the agreement mistake
computers
students
to learn at home. From my perspective, this
is a positive development, as advanced technologies can result in time
management efficiency and enhance productivity.
These advancements in computer
provide flexibility for individuals in both work and learning environments, allowing them to tailor their schedules to fit Fix the agreement mistake
computers
the
needs. Change the word
their
For example
, professionals can telecommute, eliminating the time
to go to work and providing more time
to do other tasks. Similarly
, students
can also
access educational resources online at any time
, enabling them to study at their own pace and review materials as needed. They also
can conduct online learning with their peers using their computers
. As a result
, both young people and students
can better manage their time
.
Furthermore
, advanced computers
foster collaboration and communication among individual people, regardless of their physical location. With video conferencing and online collaboration tools, like Zoom and Google Meet Application, fellow young workers can work together easily, sharing ideas and completing projects effectively. Another example of this
would be about
Change preposition
apply
students
who tend to use their computers
to hone their foreign language. They can meet native speakers from different countries remotely, leading to be
fast learners. Not only Verb problem
becoming
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
this
productivity,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
promotes a sense of connectednes
among remote workers and Correct your spelling
connectedness
students
.
In conclusion, the proliferation of the
advanced Correct article usage
apply
computers
has many merits since it
Correct pronoun usage
its
the
Correct article usage
apply
existance
is Correct your spelling
existence
as
a bridge to Change preposition
apply
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
time
management efficiency and boost
productivity for both young people and Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
students
.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure you fully address all parts of the task. While you have given your opinion clearly and supported it with examples, adding more nuanced perspectives or potential drawbacks could provide a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Using a range of linking words can improve the flow of your essay. Consider integrating more varied transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance readability.
task achievement
In terms of task response, while you have given relevant examples, you could expand on these by providing more detailed explanations of how technology specifically benefits time management and productivity. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.