These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, there has been a noticeable surge in the depiction of
violence
Use synonyms
on
television
Use synonyms
, and there is growing concern that
this
Linking Words
trend is negatively impacting
children
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
assertion, as
exposure
Use synonyms
to violent
content
Use synonyms
on
television
Use synonyms
can desensitize
children
Use synonyms
and contribute to aggressive
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, prolonged
exposure
Use synonyms
to
violence
Use synonyms
on
television
Use synonyms
can desensitize
children
Use synonyms
to real-life
violence
Use synonyms
. Research has shown that repeated
exposure
Use synonyms
to violent imagery can dull emotional responses and lead to a diminished sensitivity towards
violence
Use synonyms
in real-life situations.
For example
Linking Words
, studies have demonstrated a correlation between viewing violent
television
Use synonyms
programs and an increase in aggressive
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
among
children
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
desensitization can result in
children
Use synonyms
becoming less empathetic and more accepting of
violence
Use synonyms
as a normal part of life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
exposure
Use synonyms
to violent
content
Use synonyms
on
television
Use synonyms
has been linked to an increase in aggressive
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
among
children
Use synonyms
. Numerous studies have found a strong association between viewing violent
media
Use synonyms
and engaging in aggressive
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
as physical aggression, verbal aggression, and relational aggression.
This
Linking Words
is particularly concerning given that
children
Use synonyms
are highly impressionable and may imitate the violent
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
they see on
television
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
exposure
Use synonyms
to
violence
Use synonyms
can exacerbate existing
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
issues and lead to long-term consequences for
children
Use synonyms
's social and emotional development.
While
Linking Words
some may argue that other factors,
such
Linking Words
as parental supervision and individual differences in temperament, play a larger role in shaping
children
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, it is essential to recognize the significant influence of
television
Use synonyms
violence
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
parental guidance and
media
Use synonyms
literacy programs are crucial in mitigating the negative effects of
television
Use synonyms
violence
Use synonyms
, they cannot entirely negate the impact of
exposure
Use synonyms
to violent
content
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the increasing prevalence of
violence
Use synonyms
on
television
Use synonyms
is undeniably having a detrimental impact on
children
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Exposure
Use synonyms
to violent imagery can desensitize
children
Use synonyms
and contribute to aggressive
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, posing risks to their social and emotional well-being. It is imperative that steps are taken to limit
children
Use synonyms
's
exposure
Use synonyms
to violent
content
Use synonyms
on
television
Use synonyms
and promote
media
Use synonyms
literacy to help
children
Use synonyms
critically evaluate and understand the messages conveyed by the
media
Use synonyms
they consume. By addressing
this
Linking Words
issue, we can work towards creating a safer and healthier environment for
children
Use synonyms
to grow and develop.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In your essay, you have effectively argued that the increase in televised violence negatively impacts children's behavior. To further improve your task achievement score, try to incorporate more specific examples and statistics that empirically support your claims. Doing so will make your argument more persuasive and comprehensively addressed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and maintains a clear logical flow throughout. For further improvement in coherence and cohesion, consider the addition of linking phrases or transitional words to more seamlessly connect your ideas between paragraphs. This will enhance the readability of your essay and strengthen the connection between your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • mimicking
  • aggressive
  • idolize
  • fear or anxiety
  • social interactions
  • mental health
  • proactive
  • supervision
  • content
What to do next:
Look at other essays: