IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The use of social media is replacing face to face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #face #interaction #people #society
Meeting
in-person
Correct your spelling
in person
show examples
 has been changed by using social
media
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
. From my perspective, I am in strong agreement with
this
 statement because it is more convenient and easier to access anywhere.
Moreover
, online platforms are a good source of entertainment. All the aspects of the given prompt shall be elaborated with strong justification and relevant examples
subsequently
. Predominantly and admittedly,
conveniency
Correct your spelling
convenience
 is the reason worth considering, as it makes
so
Correct pronoun usage
it so
show examples
 easy to talk to family and friends who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 far away around the globe. To be more precise, in the modern era,
people
 are scattered everywhere
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it hard to meet and communicate face to face which possibly leads to a feel of ignorance. A strong piece of evidence could be perhaps, social
media
platform
Change the noun form
platforms
show examples
such
 as Facebook and Instagram
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 one of the best
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to talk and get updates
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our loved
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Hence
, using social
media
 to communicate is valuable. Another pivotal aspect of
this
 trend is that
people
 are getting too addicted to social
media
.
This
 is certainly because they are losing
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 will to meet each other as all of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
 is devoted to
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. To explicate
further
, if
people
 keep on talking to each other online, they are getting habitual of it which
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not let them realise the value of meeting
in-person
Correct your spelling
in person
show examples
.
This
 may lead to
anti-social
Add a missing verb
being anti-social
show examples
 or
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
. Take Skype as an example, on which
people
 do video chats which do not involve their body
gesture
Fix the agreement mistake
gestures
show examples
 and
people
 are getting used to it.
Therefore
,
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of
this
 culture cannot be neglected. As
such
 it can be conclusively reiterated
,
Correct word choice
that, easy
show examples
easy
Correct article usage
an easy
show examples
 approach is the primary reason behind the success of social
media
,
moreover
, another main reason is that in
Correct article usage
the tech-era
show examples
tech-era
Correct your spelling
tech era
show examples
 everyone
got
Verb problem
has
show examples
 smart devices to access it. Apparently, a positive, pragmatic and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
optimistic approach is highly recommended when it comes to
limitize
Correct your spelling
limit
limiting
 its use.
Submitted by pavithooda1 on

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Logical Structure
Focus on clearly structuring your essay with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your viewpoint, while the conclusion should summarize your arguments.
Supported Main Points
Develop your main points with specific, relevant examples. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by specific evidence.
Complete Response
Address all parts of the task, ensuring that you discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic in a balanced manner. Your own opinion should be clear.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify your ideas and arguments. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your examples clearly support your arguments.
Relevant Specific Examples
Incorporate more precise, relevant examples to support your arguments. Avoid generalizations by providing specific details that illustrate your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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