The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The bar picture depicts information about the total of

Australia

Use synonyms

's employees in

Linking Words

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

year, which is divided by type of work and by gender.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it showed that the most common job for women in

Australia

Use synonyms

last

Linking Words

year was clerical just over 980,000 people, whilst men's top picks fell into tradespeople in 900,000.

Moreover

Linking Words

, other popular jobs among ladies are professionals was 700,000 and semi-professionals around 350,000.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the two favourite jobs for males are clerical and professional.

However

Linking Words

, there are several jobs that had fewer likes on ladies,

such

Linking Words

as production and tradespeople with the same number of each, which is 100,000 people.

Likewise

Linking Words

, managers were not popular among ladies in

Australia

Use synonyms

Conversely

Linking Words

, the lowest famous type of work for men is Labourers with just around 250,000, Semi-professionals with approximately 350,000, and

Linking Words

lastly

Add a comma

lastly,

show examples

Production was 550,000.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the total number of worked persons in

Australia

Use synonyms

last

Linking Words

year, men always had the highest number in every type of job rather than women.

Submitted by anjanadmr on Thu Feb 22 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

169 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

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Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?