It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
There is a trend going towards that individuals should be funding themselves after a recession.
However
, authorities do have not an abundance of expenses for their citizens after retirement. I believe that governments
must pay their employees, while
those people
who have their own businesses should support
themselves on the pullback.
On one hand, there is the category of people
who are living with custody of their powers. For instance
, employees work in the government institutions like national companies, Judiciary powers, ministries...etc. Moreover
, authorities have legal and moral concerns towards his workers who are retiring. Completely, those people
paid taxes to governments
or maybe their governments
cut off their wages. Furthermore
, if governments
had not paid for these individuals, there would be poverty and a need to support
them.
On the other hand
, there is another category of individual outcomes of government support
. For example
, merchants, businessmen, lawyers...etc . Without any doubt, authorities are not allowed to waste a budget on those people
because they have a lot of money and do not need any help. In spite of this
, those individuals may be paid taxes by governments
, but this
is not justified for him. What is more, the costs that may be paid for those people
, it worth to costs that to
combat poverty.
Fix the infinitive
apply
To sum up
, as l mentioned above, l totally agree that governments
should support
their employees after retirement. The government must take those people
into account when it approves the budget.Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure to fully address both sides of the argument, including clear reasons and pertinent examples. This means expanding on why individuals should fund themselves and why governments should support certain individuals, providing more concrete examples or data.
Task Achievement
Work on presenting a more balanced view in your argument, considering both sides equally before reaching a conclusion. This helps in strengthening your position and demonstrating an analytical approach.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence by clearly outlining your essay structure in the introduction, guiding the reader through your arguments systematically. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea with supporting details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Boost cohesion by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more naturally within and between paragraphs. Also, ensure smooth transitions between topics to enhance readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Refine your essay by proofreading for grammatical errors and improving sentence variety. This will not only make your writing more professional but also easier to follow for the reader.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.