Some parents are worried about increasing levels of violence in TV,Video games and other entertainments for Children's leisure. how does this affects the children? how do you think this can be tackled?

#parents #levels #violence #tv #video #games #entertainments #children #leisure

Now days

entertaiment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

development is very massive

such

Video

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

, etc.

Capitalize word

show examples

and more people

enjoying

Wrong verb form

enjoy

show examples

that including

kids

, they

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

usualy

Correct your spelling

usually

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

and play

video

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

free time. many

perents

Correct your spelling

parents

started worried about that because

Correct article usage

the

show examples

level of

violence

Verb problem

had

show examples

escalate

Wrong verb form

escalated

show examples

. the brutality in the

entertaiment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

can influence

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

to do bad

things

. To solve that problem, parents must monitor what their

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

do in

spare

Correct pronoun usage

their spare

show examples

time.

according to

some research by

indonesian

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Indonesian

show examples

psychological

expert

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experts

show examples

, the

kids

will

be imitate

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imitate

show examples

what they

wach

Correct your spelling

watch

and listen

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to.

show examples

if they see and hear the

violence

from the

program they watch or

video

game

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games

show examples

they play, that can

increse

Correct your spelling

increase

Correct article usage

the posibility

show examples

posibility

Correct your spelling

possibility

Change preposition

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

some

things

similar to that.

Capitalize word

show examples

tackle that, we must

selected

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select

show examples

the

program,

video

games, and other

entertaiment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

which dont have

violence

content in that. for some

entertaiment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

industries, they have been

lebeled

Correct your spelling

labelled

levelled

their product with

kids

friendly

label

Fix the agreement mistake

labels

show examples

. with that

label

, they can ensure

Correct word choice

that

show examples

the

entertaiment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

product

such

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

video

games is

save

Replace the word

safe

show examples

for the

kids

Capitalize word

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they a

show examples

oldster

Correct your spelling

older

show examples

, they must be

ansure

Correct your spelling

sure

that their

kids

just consume

entertaiment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

with

kids

friendly

label

. in

conclution

Correct your spelling

conclusion

perents

Correct your spelling

parents

must

Wrong verb form

select

show examples

selected

Wrong verb form

select

show examples

coshing

Correct article usage

a coshing

show examples

entertaiment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

with

kids

friendly

Correct your spelling

kids-friendly

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

labels

show examples

label

Fix the agreement mistake

labels

show examples

prevert

Correct your spelling

prevent

kids

from

Wrong verb form

seeing

show examples

see

Wrong verb form

seeing

show examples

and

Wrong verb form

hearing

show examples

hear

Wrong verb form

hearing

show examples

violence

conten

Correct your spelling

content

Change preposition

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

entertaiment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

things

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

enjoy as

chlidrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

leasure

Correct your spelling

leisure

. with that

parrent

Correct your spelling

parent

can ovoid their

childrends

Correct your spelling

children

children's

to copy

bruttaly

Correct your spelling

brutally

things

from that.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Thu Feb 22 2024

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Work on your essay planning by allotting time before writing to decide on your main points and how they relate to the question. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence, explaining how each point addresses the essay question.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationship between your ideas more clearly, improving the flow of your essay. Phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'However', 'As a result', and 'In contrast' can be very effective.

coherence cohesion

Proofread your essay to check for and correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. Pay special attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure to improve the readability and professionalism of your writing.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
72Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents are worried about increasing levels of violence in TV,Video games and other entertainments for Children's leisure. how does this affects the children? how do you think this can be tackled?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays more and more people are buying products and services on credit. Is it good or bad for the society?

While choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Many countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. Why do they think so? What can be done to change their views

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.