Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, there are various activities that students can do in their leisure time.
However
, some groups believe that parents should encourage their kids to involve
in Wrong verb form
be involved
Correct article usage
the organization
organization
agenda. Change noun form
organization's
While
,
others think it is paramount to let children choose their own hustles.
Remove the comma
apply
Firstly
, in
Change preposition
at
the
young age, they should be exposed Correct article usage
a
by
various activities in order to enrich their soft skills and widen their perspectives. Some people think that it is easier to enrol in an association since it is structured and has a clear mission. Change preposition
to
For instance
, there are several foundations that provide program
for pupils to contribute to poor families; Fix the agreement mistake
programs
consequently
, their soft skills and empathy towards society are developed by joining organized programs.
On the other hand
, the fact is youngsters can decide which events they keen
to join. There are Add a missing verb
are keen
lot
of opportunities outside education institutions and they Change the article
a lot
allowed
to explore different hustles. Add a missing verb
are allowed
For example
, many of
students who focus on academics as their dreams are being accepted to Change preposition
apply
ivy league
schools. If they Correct your spelling
Ivy League
only
restricted to organization programs, they will not be able to reach their goals. Add a missing verb
are only
Thus
, it does
not necessary about the organizations, but it is more about how they explore their Verb problem
is
potentials
and Fix the agreement mistake
potential
making
decisions to undergo things that they Wrong verb form
make
Add a missing verb
are interest
interest
in.
In conclusion, even though association groups provide considerate motions, there are other things that pupils can pursue, especially in academic fields. Replace the word
interested
Therefore
, I am firmly convinced that there are many opportunities that can enrich their skills and knowledge to become high-quality individuals.Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on
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Introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your position. Avoid vague statements and directly address the topic.
Cohesion
Use a range of linking words effectively to create a cohesive argument, but be cautious of overusing them which could potentially disrupt the flow of your essay.
Cohesion
Organize your paragraphs clearly with one main idea per paragraph, supported by relevant examples or evidence, to strengthen your argument.
Conclusion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points and reaffirms your position. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
Supporting Details
Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments. This makes your essay more convincing and engaging for the reader.
Tone
Maintain a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid using informal language or slang.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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