Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, there are various activities that students can do in their leisure time.

However

Linking Words

, some groups believe that parents should encourage their kids to

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

show examples

Correct article usage

the organization

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organization

Change noun form

organization's

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agenda.

While

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

others think it is paramount to let children choose their own hustles.

Firstly

Linking Words

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

young age, they should be exposed

Change preposition

show examples

various activities in order to enrich their soft skills and widen their perspectives. Some people think that it is easier to enrol in an association since it is structured and has a clear mission.

For instance

Linking Words

, there are several foundations that provide

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

for pupils to contribute to poor families;

consequently

Linking Words

, their soft skills and empathy towards society are developed by joining organized programs.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the fact is youngsters can decide which events they

keen

Add a missing verb

are keen

show examples

to join. There are

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of opportunities outside education institutions and they

allowed

Add a missing verb

are allowed

show examples

to explore different hustles.

For example

Linking Words

, many

Change preposition

apply

show examples

students who focus on academics as their dreams are being accepted to

ivy league

Correct your spelling

Ivy League

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schools. If they

only

Add a missing verb

are only

show examples

restricted to organization programs, they will not be able to reach their goals.

Thus

Linking Words

, it

does

Verb problem

show examples

not necessary about the organizations, but it is more about how they explore their

potentials

Fix the agreement mistake

potential

show examples

and

making

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

decisions to undergo things that they

Add a missing verb

are interest

show examples

interest

Replace the word

interested

show examples

in. In conclusion, even though association groups provide considerate motions, there are other things that pupils can pursue, especially in academic fields.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I am firmly convinced that there are many opportunities that can enrich their skills and knowledge to become high-quality individuals.

sidneynatasha16Thu Feb 22 2024

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Introduction

Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your position. Avoid vague statements and directly address the topic.

Cohesion

Use a range of linking words effectively to create a cohesive argument, but be cautious of overusing them which could potentially disrupt the flow of your essay.

Cohesion

Organize your paragraphs clearly with one main idea per paragraph, supported by relevant examples or evidence, to strengthen your argument.

Conclusion

Ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points and reaffirms your position. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.

Supporting Details

Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments. This makes your essay more convincing and engaging for the reader.

Tone

Maintain a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid using informal language or slang.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
occupied
organized
group activities
benefits
social
teamwork skills
interpersonal skills
friendship
discipline
time management
interests
hobbies
independent play
creativity
problem-solving skills
self-reliance
explore
discover

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some people believe that environmental problems are too big for individuals ro deal with, while other think that individual should take some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the Sahara desert or Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Write a letter to the manager of a hotel where you stayed and left two important things - Give details of your stay - Why those two things are important - How he can return the things to you

Some people think that teenage years are the happiest years wheareas other think that the adult life is brings more happiness, inspite of great responsibilities. Give your views and opinions.

Some people claim that it is better to live in cities while others say that we should live in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion.