IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You took your family to a nearby restaurant. You were disappointed with the meal and wish to complain to the manager. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In the letter: Explain why you were at the restaurant Describe the problems Write about action you want to manager to take

#restaurant #manager #action
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to complain about your
restaurant
's service, which I experienced awful
last
 weekend when I and my twin Shayla were there on our birthday. As I mentioned we were there on our special day as our friends recommended your
restaurant
 to have
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
 supper with
classic
Replace the word
classical
show examples
 music and on fleek garden.
However
, I was very excited to visit your eatery but unfortunately, I had to stand out in a queue for an hour to book a table. And
therefore
, one of the
waiter
Fix the agreement mistake
waiters
show examples
 spilt water on my expensive dress. I was absolutely nervous when happened
this
 situation. I purchased
this
 dress for my b-day
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that was my dream.
Although
 your waitress disappointed me. But I said nothing. Cause, I didn't want to injure the
restaurant
.
In addition
, your
restaurant's
Change noun form
restaurant
show examples
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 an arm and a leg. In conclusion, I would so appreciate
Correct pronoun usage
it when
show examples
when
Correct word choice
if
show examples
 you see that. Yours faithfully, Bayramoy
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
To improve task response, ensure that your letter has a clear purpose and directly addresses the points mentioned in the task. Mention what specific action you want the manager to take in response to the problems you've outlined.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, try to structure your letter more logically. Each paragraph should deal with a different aspect of your complaint, and you should use linking words to connect ideas more effectively. Avoid jumping from one idea to another without a clear connection.
Task Response
To elevate the writing tone, adopt a more formal language. Avoid using informal expressions and slang ('on fleek,' 'cost an arm and a leg'). Use polite phrases and formal vocabulary to express your dissatisfaction in a respectful manner.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: