Science tells us that some activities are good for our health, while some others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people all over the world continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think this is the case and what might be done to change this?

#science #activities #health #millions #people #world #case #change

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Currently,

huge

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a huge

the huge

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number of

people

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remain to choose unhealthy

habits

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although

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there are many

science

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scientific

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research

Correct pronoun usage

that explain

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explain

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explains

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some

activities

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that

provide

Verb problem

have

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good

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a good

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impact,

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however

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however,

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others

give

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have

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bad effects

for

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our health as

people

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still do now. I strongly believe that

this

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was led by

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

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of awareness and

addiction

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that

embedded

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is embedded

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in human life.

However

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, it still can be

stoped

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stopped

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by several efforts

such

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as understanding triggers first and

start

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starting

show examples

to take over with positive alternatives. Many negative

habits

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that

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apply

show examples

have been done by several individuals. It was

due to

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lack

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a lack

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of awareness about

effects

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the effects

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after

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show examples

continuing these

activities

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. Even though

huge

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apply

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information

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is offer

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offer

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offered

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about the importance of avoiding negative

activities

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, they still continue to do

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this

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these

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habits

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. It indicates

that

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apply

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how low their affection for their own health.

For example

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, today

people

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commonly

prefer

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prefer to

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stay up late, even though they realise that

this

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activity potentially

reduce

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reduces

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productivity,

consentration

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concentration

and reducing immune.

In addition

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, another main reason why folks tend to do unhealthy

activities

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due to

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addiction

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. They know those

activities

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that have been done simultaneously will endanger their physical health or even destroy their vital organs inside

body

Add an article

the body

show examples

. Huge information offers

the

Correct article usage

show examples

warning about how dangerous those

activities

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are,

they

Correct word choice

but they

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do not how to stop.

For instance

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, men tend to smoke both in private and public

area

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areas

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. They are tempted by

pleasure

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the pleasure

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of smoking,

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and as

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a result of

this

Linking Words

, it

was

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hard to stop

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this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

negative

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habits

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habit

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although

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pack

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a pack

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cigarette

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cigarettes

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includes

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a warning

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warning

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warnings

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regarding

deadly

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the deadly

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dangers

about

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show examples

smoking.

However

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the

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despite the

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reasons that have been mentioned earlier, there are still solutions to stop

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apply

show examples

doing negative

habits

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. Understanding

triggers

Correct article usage

the triggers

show examples

of unhealthy

activities

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are

show examples

profound

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a profound

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way as

beginning

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a beginning

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step to

stop

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stopping

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhealthy

activities

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. It will be very helpful for

ourselves

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

to know about the potential symptoms that will grow a sense of

desiration

Correct your spelling

desperation

in doing unhealthy

activities

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For example

Linking Words

desiration

Correct article usage

the desiration

show examples

of smoking often

appear

Correct subject-verb agreement

appears

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when men feel bored or lonely.

Then

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, removing with positive

altenatives

Correct your spelling

alternatives

can cope

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

issues.

For example

Linking Words

, replacing

smokinh

Correct your spelling

smoking

habits

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with consuming candies in order to reduce

feeling

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feelings

show examples

addiction

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. In conclusion,

main

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the main

show examples

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

why

people

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tend to do

unhelathy

Correct your spelling

unhealthy

activities

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are

due to

Linking Words

lack of awareness and

addiction

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, it can be overcome by understanding

triggers

Correct article usage

the triggers

show examples

of unhealthy

activities

Use synonyms

and replacing

with

Correct pronoun usage

them with

show examples

positive alternatives

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Fri Feb 23 2024

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task achievement

You should work on making your points more specifically related to the question. In addressing 'why people continue with unhealthy activities' and 'what might be done,' ensure you directly relate each paragraph to these questions for a clearer task response.

coherence cohesion

Consider dividing your essay more clearly into paragraphs, each dedicated to a single main idea. This will help with your essay's logical flow and make it easier for readers to follow your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Try integrating more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance the sophistication of your writing. More concrete examples could also help in supporting your points more effectively.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
61
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

380 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

addiction
dependency
peer pressure
social norms
mental health issues
binge eating
lack of access
long-term consequences
convenience
accessibility
public health campaigns
government regulations
taxes
dissuade
mental health care
supportive environment
community programs
wellness workshops

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Science tells us that some activities are good for our health, while some others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people all over the world continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think this is the case and what might be done to change this?

Should private schools receive government funding? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent lexical in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming only language to be spoken globally. Advantages and disadvantages?

in their advertising bsinesses nowadays ususally emphasise that their products are new in some way. whay is this ? do you think it is a positife or negative development?

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that car users should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.