Science tells us that some activities are good for our health, while some others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people all over the world continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think this is the case and what might be done to change this?
Currently,
huge
number of Change the article
a huge
the huge
people
remain to choose unhealthy habits
, although
there are many science
research Replace the word
scientific
Correct pronoun usage
that explain
explain
some Correct subject-verb agreement
explains
activities
that provide
Verb problem
have
good
impact, Correct article usage
a good
however
others Add a comma
however,
give
bad effects Verb problem
have
for
our health as Change preposition
on
people
still do now. I strongly believe that this
was led by lack
of awareness and Correct article usage
a lack
addiction
that embedded
in human life. Add a missing verb
is embedded
However
, it still can be stoped
by several efforts Correct your spelling
stopped
such
as understanding triggers first and start
to take over with positive alternatives.
Many negative Wrong verb form
starting
habits
that
have been done by several individuals. It was Correct pronoun usage
apply
due to
lack
of awareness about Correct article usage
a lack
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
after
continuing these Change preposition
of
activities
. Even though huge
information Correct word choice
apply
Add a missing verb
is offer
offer
about the importance of avoiding negative Replace the word
offered
activities
, they still continue to do this
Correct determiner usage
these
habits
. It indicates that
how low their affection for their own health. Correct word choice
apply
For example
, today people
commonly prefer
stay up late, even though they realise that Add the particle
prefer to
this
activity potentially reduce
productivity, Change the verb form
reduces
consentration
and reducing immune.
Correct your spelling
concentration
In addition
, another main reason why folks tend to do unhealthy activities
is due to
addiction
. They know those activities
that have been done simultaneously will endanger their physical health or even destroy their vital organs inside body
. Huge information offers Add an article
the body
the
warning about how dangerous those Correct article usage
a
activities
are, they
do not how to stop. Correct word choice
but they
For instance
, men tend to smoke both in private and public area
. They are tempted by Fix the agreement mistake
areas
pleasure
of smoking, Add an article
the pleasure
as
a result of Correct word choice
and as
this
, it was
hard to stop Wrong verb form
is
this
negative Correct determiner usage
these
habits
, Fix the agreement mistake
habit
although
pack
of Add an article
a pack
cigarette
includes Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
Add an article
a warning
warning
regarding Fix the agreement mistake
warnings
deadly
dangers Correct article usage
the deadly
about
smoking.
Change preposition
of
However
, the
reasons that have been mentioned earlier, there are still solutions to stop Change preposition
despite the
in
doing negative Change preposition
apply
habits
. Understanding triggers
of unhealthy Correct article usage
the triggers
activities
is
Change the verb form
are
profound
way as Correct article usage
a profound
beginning
step to Correct article usage
a beginning
stop
Wrong verb form
stopping
the
unhealthy Correct article usage
apply
activities
. It will be very helpful for ourselves
to know about the potential symptoms that will grow a sense of Correct pronoun usage
us
desiration
in doing unhealthy Correct your spelling
desperation
activities
. For example
, desiration
of smoking often Correct article usage
the desiration
appear
when men feel bored or lonely. Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
Then
, removing with positive altenatives
can cope Correct your spelling
alternatives
this
issues. Change preposition
with this
For example
, replacing smokinh
Correct your spelling
smoking
habits
with consuming candies in order to reduce feeling
of Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
addiction
.
In conclusion, main
Add an article
the main
reason
why Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
tend to do unhelathy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
activities
are due to
lack of awareness and addiction
. However
, it can be overcome by understanding triggers
of unhealthy Correct article usage
the triggers
activities
and replacing with
positive alternativesCorrect pronoun usage
them with
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task achievement
You should work on making your points more specifically related to the question. In addressing 'why people continue with unhealthy activities' and 'what might be done,' ensure you directly relate each paragraph to these questions for a clearer task response.
coherence cohesion
Consider dividing your essay more clearly into paragraphs, each dedicated to a single main idea. This will help with your essay's logical flow and make it easier for readers to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try integrating more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance the sophistication of your writing. More concrete examples could also help in supporting your points more effectively.