The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the coment-making process, and how coment is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

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The

providad

Correct your spelling

provided

image illustrates the process of making

cement

Use synonyms

and for

further

Linking Words

use, producing concrete. The very first materials of

cement

Use synonyms

are limestone and clay.

Then

Linking Words

, by adding water, sand and gravel to it with specific proportions and after a mixing process, concrete is made.

Firstly

Linking Words

, limestone and clay are being put into the crusher, so a

powder

Use synonyms

will be created out of them.

Then

Linking Words

, the produced

powder

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being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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set into the mixer.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, the mixed

powder

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is led into the rotating heater which consists of a heating source from one side, through a tube. After that, the processed

powder

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being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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put on the grinder and the final result will be

cement

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which will be put into bags for

further

Linking Words

use. For producing concrete,

cement

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, water, sand and gravel are mixed

together with

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

percentages of 15%, 10%, 25% and 50% orderly, in a device called

concrete

Add an article

a concrete

show examples

mixer.

Then

Linking Words

, the produced material will be concrete.

Overall

Linking Words

, for producing

cement

Use synonyms

, limestone and clay will be crushed into a

powder

Use synonyms

which will be mixed, heated and

grinded

Correct your spelling

ground

show examples

. After that,

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

being mixed into a concrete mixer with water, sand and gravel, concrete will be produced.

mohamad.sanaye462Fri Feb 23 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement, powder with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

195 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

raw materials
grinding
heating process
kilns
clinker
gypsum
machinery
crushers
grinders
rotary kilns
ball mills
sand
gravel
versatility
civil engineering

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The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the coment-making process, and how coment is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

some children spend hours everyday on smartphones. Why is this case? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicine and treatment instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Some people believe that life in a big city is difficult while others say that it is more convenient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities?

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?