IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others thing that employee should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #managers #decisions #company #employee #process
In today’s climate, the manner of management and making decisions in companies has become a controversial minefield.
While
 a group of people argue that it is better that
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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would
Verb problem
apply
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be made by
managers
, another group, including me, believes that
employees
 can have a significant role in
this
 process. Some people claim that decision-making should be the responsibility of entrepreneurs. The main justification why it would be fruitful is the fact that
managers
 have more knowledge and information than workers. They have been taught and trained hard to have that position. An illustration of
this
 is the fact that they should consider the financial and commercial
aspect
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aspects
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 of that decision. Another explanation is that
managers
 can make a choice which is the best for all
part
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parts
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 of the company.
In other words
,
employees
 from different departments would offer an idea which is suitable just for their section,
however
,
managers
 need to do what is perfect for the whole system. The other side of the argument believes that
employees
 can make better
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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 since they are more familiar with problems. They have been working with machines and connected with customers,
therefore
, they know about every single detail and vacancy.
For example
,
sales persons
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salespersons
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 have significant information regarding the style of potential customers.
As a result
 of
this
 fact, they can have interesting ideas in order to produce products for the market.
Last
 but not least, the overwhelming number of workers have been working for several years in a particular field. They may have valuable experiences which can be shared and used to improve the efficiency of the factory. As an example, workers can give effective opinions about devices when they want to change them. What can be concluded from the discussion revolving around the decision-making in companies is it seems rational to subscribe to the view that it is better to involve
employees
 in
this
 procedure
Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Increase the depth and nuance of arguments in your introduction and conclusion. State your stance more clearly and provide a concise summary of your key points at the end.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between ideas with more varied transition phrases and clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not just at the end. Integrate it more fully with the discussion of each viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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