Some people think that strict punishment for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however ,believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both view ad give your own opinion.
Nowadays
the
Correct article usage
apply
traffic
accidents
are one of Add an article
the problem
problem
facing Fix the agreement mistake
problems
the
society, Correct article usage
apply
while
some people
believe that strict punishment
for driving will be good to
reducing Change preposition
for
traffic
accidents
. However
, another think
will be better Correct your spelling
thing
to
improving road Change preposition
for
safety
. I think that of
these views are valid and will help Change preposition
apply
of
reducing Change preposition
in
traffic
accidents
.
Most people
argue that the
strict Correct article usage
apply
punishment
for driving offences are
the key to reducing Change the verb form
is
traffic
accidents
as when apply
that, Change the verb form
applying
people
will take more serious the
Correct article usage
apply
traffic
laws. For example
, countries who
Correct pronoun usage
that
rise
the Correct your spelling
raise
punishment
of
driving show reduce Change preposition
for
of
Change preposition
in
traffic
accidents
. Furthermore
, the income that come
from Change the verb form
comes
traffic
violations will help the governments to improving
Change the verb form
improve
road
and the damages that happen because of Fix the agreement mistake
roads
accidents
. For instance
, the governments can use money of
Change preposition
for
traffic
violations to install more cameras on the roads
to control more effectively.
In
the other hand, some Change preposition
On
people
consider improving of
Remove the preposition
apply
roads
Change the noun form
road
safety
are
more effective as it will improve Change the verb form
to be
quality
of Correct article usage
the quality
roads
and make the roads
more
Correct word choice
safer
safety
for drivers. Moreover
, when applying more safety
of
Change preposition
on
roads
will impact on
the ways that Change preposition
apply
people
driving
cars and decrease Wrong verb form
drive
traffic
accidents
. For example
, the new roads
will very develop
technology show very few Wrong verb form
developed
accidents
. In addition
of create
Change preposition
to creating
safety
Replace the word
safe
roads
, should training
Wrong verb form
train
people
who drive on
Change preposition
in
safe
way and Correct article usage
a safe
be
attention Verb problem
pay
about
the road’s directions.
In conclusion, I believe that should be very struck to reducing Change preposition
to
traffic
accidents
as its
one of Correct your spelling
it is
very
sensitive Add an article
the very
a very
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
on
society. When applying both strict Change preposition
in
punishment
and improve
Wrong verb form
improving
roads
Change the noun form
road
safety
will hope
reduce the impact of Add the particle
hope to
accidents
.Submitted by Abdullah on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Work on developing more precise and clearer main points. Your essay tends to generalize instead of focusing on specific arguments. Try to divide your paragraphs more clearly according to each view and your own opinion.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. The use of vague instances makes it difficult for the reader to fully grasp your points. Providing concrete examples will strengthen your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Improve your essay's organization by clearly separating your ideas into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences. This will help readers follow your arguments more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it more cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
Revise your essay for grammatical accuracy and spelling. Errors in grammar and spelling can distract from your message and reduce the clarity of your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.