A friend you made while you were studying aborad has written to ask you for help in finding a job in your country. you have heard about a job in a local comapny that might be suitable for him / her.

Dear Ravi, I hope you and
yout
Correct your spelling
your
family
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
well,
Also
your
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
id
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
good, In
this
letter I am coming
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
your city
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
next month. for my
higer Aducation
Correct your spelling
higher education
. And I need your help
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
my
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
job's
Change noun form
jobs
show examples
and their country
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
informaton
Correct your spelling
information
. My Air ticket
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
on 26th November 2023.in monday Morning
Mumbai
Change preposition
from Mumbai
show examples
to Canada From Indigo Flat. I have
aleady
Correct your spelling
already
working
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
in
zometo
Change the capitalization
Zometo
show examples
company
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
aFood
Correct your spelling
food
Delivery
also
I have
work
Wrong verb form
also worked
show examples
in
Vadafon
Correct article usage
the Vadafon
show examples
Company and
Correct article usage
the jio
show examples
jio
Change the capitalization
Jio
show examples
office as a computer operator. In the
Correct your spelling
office
ofiice
Add a comma
ofiice,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
have working
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
during my college study. First of all, My
frined
Correct your spelling
friend
open in a new hotel in
torento
Correct your spelling
Toronto
, Canada.
This
hotel is near their hotel. So I have
reconended
Correct your spelling
recommended
for you and I have already
share
Change the verb form
shared
show examples
your resume which you mailed
last
month in
october
Change the capitalization
October
show examples
. And
this
job is very useful is very for you because it is near your college second
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
, you will get to know
this
city very well. you can apply
this
job for by
email
Wrong verb form
emailing
show examples
[email protected] and
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
option you call
dircty
Correct your spelling
directly
dirty
to my friend and their phone no is 9812398789. Thank you for
give
Change the verb form
giving
show examples
some help and advice for me. Once
agin
Correct your spelling
again
thank you.
yourfaithfully
Correct your spelling
your faithfully
yours faithfully
, Parth Patel.
Submitted by Rachna Academy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas more clearly. Your letter should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Right now, the structure is somewhat erratic, which makes it hard to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are clearly divided and that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Use linking words more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments or points.
Task Achievement
Your letter addressed the task to an extent by providing some relevant information, but the details were often unclear or inaccurate. Work on providing clearer, more comprehensive ideas and explanations. Make sure you understand the task well and respond to all its parts.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your letter more convincing and engaging to read. Specific details about the job opportunity and how it suits your friend would improve your response.
General
Work on your grammar and vocabulary. Several errors and informal language made the letter hard to understand at times. Aim for a more formal tone in your writing and proofread for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: