IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

the diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricit. summaries the information be selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricit. summaries the information be selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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the given drawing gives an idea of how electrical power is generated with
help
Correct article usage
the help
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 flow. looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, the entire method of generating power supplies contains seven different steps. beginning with the
ray's
Change noun form
rays
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 of the Sun and ending with the generation of electrical supplies for Hospitals and Schools. in the first step, seawater absorbs hot sun rays
then
Linking Words
 the
water
Use synonyms
 vapor
convert
Change the verb form
converts
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 into clouds and they downpour as rain into
dam
Add an article
the dam
a dam
show examples
.
Change the spelling
afterwards
show examples
afterward
Add a comma
afterward,
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 the valve
that is
Linking Words
 located at the bottom of the dam is open which
resulting
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
 a
water
Use synonyms
 flow
presure cusing
Correct your spelling
pressure causing
 the turbine
immeditly
Correct your spelling
immediately
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
 to
rotates
Wrong verb form
rotate
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 producing high
volttage
Correct your spelling
voltage
 electricity power and at the same time the residual
water
Use synonyms
 return to the
reservior
Correct your spelling
reservoir
 through
tube
Add an article
the tube
a tube
show examples
 by the force pumped in order to recycle the
water
Use synonyms
 again and
further
Linking Words
 use.
furthermore
Linking Words
, generated electricity is transferred by high Voltage cable on big towers to transformer stations. in
final
Add an article
the final
a final
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 step, underground cables distribute
this
Linking Words
 energy to different areas,
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals, schools, houses and factories. in short, it is a long and expensive process because lots of resources are required.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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