IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your Own opinion.

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Although
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 many
people
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 believe that one of the most significant
topic
Change to a plural noun
topics
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 in
school
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 is
history
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, others claim that in
this
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 modern world, associated
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 to
science
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 and
technology
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 are far more vital. In my opinion, I consider that presently, learning
science
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 and
technology
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 for students
are
Change the verb form
is
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 more essential.
One
Correct your spelling
On
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 the one hand, it is a general belief that
history
Use synonyms
 should be taught at
school
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 because of its importance.
People
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 think
history
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’s events are frequently repeated in every decade and it is crucial to have various information about
this
Linking Words
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due
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apply
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to learn
their
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about their
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experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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 and mistakes.
Also
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,
history
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contemplate as
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is considered
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 a biography of ancestors which is extremely crucial to acquire some details of those days and understand how they
overcome
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overcame
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with
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apply
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difficulties.
Moreover
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, reading
history
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 can assist students
to
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in
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get
Verb problem
becoming
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 aware
about
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of
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humankind
Change noun form
humankind's
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 evolution in
variety
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a variety
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 of areas
such
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 as urbanization,
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 rules, civilization and early inventions.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 are stating that
science
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 and
technology
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 are necessary to gain at
school
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 and
this
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 is a side which I take. Indeed, in
this
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 current world, with
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of
technology
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 specifically the internet, these two subjects are more valuable
to acquire
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for acquiring
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 knowledge. In
this
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 way, student could be encouraged to be creative and improve their understanding
in
Change preposition
of
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science
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 and
technology
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 because these areas
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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modify the world.
For instance
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,
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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 of
science
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 can treat some rare and maternity diseases or invent some
gadget
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gadgets
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 to make
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people
Change noun form
people's
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 lives more convenient. In conclusion, generally some
people
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 believe that
history
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 is
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 remarkable subject that should be
trained
Verb problem
taught
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 at
school
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however
Linking Words
 others including myself
are
Verb problem
apply
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stating
Replace the word
state
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 that learning
science
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 and
technology
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 more crucial.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Work on making your introduction and conclusion distinct and clear. Ensure they introduce and summarize the main points effectively, without unnecessary repetition.
Supporting Examples
Incorporate a wider range of examples to support your arguments. Specific and relevant examples will strengthen your main points and make your essay more compelling.
Logical Structure
Focus on refining the logical structure of your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and flow smoothly into the next. Use transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.
Task Response
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. While you discussed both views and provided your opinion, expanding on how these subjects impact the future could have made your response more comprehensive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
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