The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Over the past few years,the proportion of
people
using social media has become very commonplace.In the past,it was impossible to navigate the route in the artificial reality,and see friends in the different places,these inventions made a huge contribution to the community.In my opinion, it Use synonyms
also
has some drawbacks as I will discuss both sides in the following essay.
There is no doubt that nowadays society is more inclined to use smartphones for commuting or even making friendsLinking Words
,
because Remove the comma
apply
this
is a convenient way to meet other Linking Words
people
in a short time. Use synonyms
For example
,everyone has a communication appliance on their smartphone,Linking Words
then
they can make a phone call or even video call to each other. The benefits of Linking Words
this
are they don’t have to pay the telephone fee,Linking Words
people
can talk as long as they can online,anywhere and anytime.Use synonyms
Furthermore
,another benefit of Linking Words
this
technology Linking Words
also
can help businesses,staff could have an online meeting Linking Words
instead
of a real agenda.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
,Linking Words
although
Linking Words
this
has many benefits, technology could have some drawbacks.One of the causes of Linking Words
this
problem is,Linking Words
Correct article usage
that
Correct determiner usage
that
the
social media can not just gather Correct your spelling
that
people
with their friends and families,Use synonyms
Correct word choice
but
which
Correct word choice
but
also
Linking Words
can pair
strangers online. Especially on dating apps,there are lots of dangers inside.Wrong verb form
pairs
For instance
,Linking Words
people
can create their identity by using filters,Use synonyms
then
sometimes Linking Words
people
will cheat or even lose their money,the pros outweigh the cons.
In conclusion, technology is not perfect now, we should be concerned about the occasions,provided Use synonyms
people
can use social media in the proper ways,it could reduce the burden on Use synonyms
people
and make a safer society.Use synonyms
Submitted by stellachen28577 on
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coherence cohesion
Provide a more effective introduction by clearly stating your thesis and overviewing the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow between paragraphs with more explicit transition phrases that guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Support your points with more specific examples and evidence. Use real-world instances or hypothetical situations to illustrate your claims.
task achievement
Balance the discussion by elaborating on both advantages and disadvantages evenly. Ensure each side is thoroughly explored to fully respond to the task.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and vary your sentence types to enhance readability and engagement.
task achievement
Clear up ambiguities and general statements by providing concrete details. This makes your essay more compelling and persuasive.