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The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #interaction #people #society
Over the past few years,the proportion of
people
 using social media has become very commonplace.In the past,it was impossible to navigate the route in the artificial reality,and see friends in the different places,these inventions made a huge contribution to the community.In my opinion, it
also
 has some drawbacks as I will discuss both sides in the following essay. There is no doubt that nowadays society is more inclined to use smartphones for commuting or even making friends
,
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 because
this
 is a convenient way to meet other
people
 in a short time.
For example
,everyone has a communication appliance on their smartphone,
then
 they can make a phone call or even video call to each other. The benefits of
this
 are they don’t have to pay the telephone fee,
people
 can talk as long as they can online,anywhere and anytime.
Furthermore
,another benefit of
this
 technology
also
 can help businesses,staff could have an online meeting
instead
 of a real agenda.
Nevertheless
,
although
this
 has many benefits, technology could have some drawbacks.One of the causes of
this
 problem is,
Correct article usage
that
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Correct determiner usage
that
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the
Correct your spelling
that
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 social media can not just gather
people
 with their friends and families,
Correct word choice
but
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which
Correct word choice
but
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also
can pair
Wrong verb form
pairs
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 strangers online. Especially on dating apps,there are lots of dangers inside.
For instance
,
people
 can create their identity by using filters,
then
 sometimes
people
 will cheat or even lose their money,the pros outweigh the cons. In conclusion, technology is not perfect now, we should be concerned about the occasions,provided
people
 can use social media in the proper ways,it could reduce the burden on
people
 and make a safer society.
Submitted by stellachen28577 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a more effective introduction by clearly stating your thesis and overviewing the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow between paragraphs with more explicit transition phrases that guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Support your points with more specific examples and evidence. Use real-world instances or hypothetical situations to illustrate your claims.
task achievement
Balance the discussion by elaborating on both advantages and disadvantages evenly. Ensure each side is thoroughly explored to fully respond to the task.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and vary your sentence types to enhance readability and engagement.
task achievement
Clear up ambiguities and general statements by providing concrete details. This makes your essay more compelling and persuasive.
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