Some people today believe that the world’s increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that world population increase in necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
There are some people who argue that an increase in the
number
of populations is not sustainable and will finally
result in a global crisis, while
the opponents of this
view claim that it is essential for fostering economy
and society of the world. I believe that Correct article usage
the economy
while
overpopulation can solve the problem of the lack of workforce, a growing population
threatens the future in terms of the lack of essential living supplies.
On the one hand, it seems to me that, an unsustainable increasing number
of people puts the future of the world at risk. It can lead to a worldwide crisis throughout the world, especially in undeveloped countries
. For instance
, five years ago, citizens of Sahaba, one of the poor countries
, faced a
terrible overpopulation, and it caused Correct article usage
apply
the
reduction Correct article usage
a
of
living demands, Change preposition
in
such
as water, food, and energy. In
that time, a significant increase in the Change preposition
At
number
of death rates was recorded in Sahaba.
On the other hand
, a growing population
can bring necessary benefits to countries
where birth rates are lower. It is important for building much
healthier economic system and society network. It can lead to growing demand for goods, allowing economies to expand and increasing the skilled workforce. Take Serbia Correct article usage
a much
for example
. Due to
the population
growth in Serbia, there can be seen a rise in the number
of talented workers in the workplace.
In conclusion, although
overpopulation can deal with the issue of insufficient
Add an article
the insufficient
labor
force in Change the spelling
labour
countries
where population
is not higher on a substantial scale, I believe that a growing Add an article
the population
number
of people will ultimately culminate in a global catastrophe, such
as the shortage of natural needs, including food, water, and energy.Submitted by writingbhos on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Introduce both sides of the argument more clearly in the introduction, ensuring your opinion is also distinctly stated. This lays a solid foundation for your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. While your essay has good structure, enhancing connectors will improve readability and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Although you provide examples, further depth could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Work on a more balanced discussion of both views. Ensure you allocate similar attention to both sides before stating your conclusion. This balance is crucial for a comprehensive discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider refining your conclusion to better summarize the main points of the discussion and clearly restate your stance. A strong conclusion will make your essay more impactful.