Some people think that businesses should provide sports facilities for employees. Others consider that a person’s health is their own responsibility, not a company’s problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sports
turns
Wrong verb form
have turned
show examples
into a vital part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. A growing number of people argue that having
sports
equipment in
companies
is the most beneficial option for those who
do not
Verb problem
cannot
show examples
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
afford to go to
sports
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
,
whereass
Correct your spelling
whereas
others think that it is not
companies'
Correct article usage
the companies'
show examples
business as they should promote
emloyees
Correct your spelling
employees
with only a job satisfaction. Personally, I completely believe that it
could
Correct your spelling
would
show examples
be better if
companies
supply workers with several
activitives
Correct your spelling
activities
including
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
. On the one hand, there is a common belief about
companies
that some
businesess
Correct your spelling
businesses
have a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
in their destination in order to provide members of staff with essential items for spending their time
profitable
Change the word
profitably
show examples
.
According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific research, employees who work at high-quality
companies
which have facilities for leisure time like
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, some types of games (
futboll
Correct your spelling
football
,
voleyboll
Correct your spelling
volleyball
) in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specific rooms are the best workers because they really enjoy working for these
companies
and they do not think about time which they spend for doing significant actions.
On the other hand
, there is
also
an argument that
companies
should not supply workers with
sports
provision
Fix the agreement mistake
provisions
show examples
. Many people think that
companies
can invest their money for other reasons like opening
library
Add an article
a library
the library
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there or
being
Verb problem
having
show examples
a
worlwide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
famous staff.
For instance
, it is their view that
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
should think about their health and it is their own responsibility. They can consume their money in order to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their desires. In conclusion, human beings have various opinions, some feel that it is a crucial opportunity for co-workers,
while
others think that businesses should not pay out their investment because of
Correct article usage
the meember
show examples
meember
Correct your spelling
member
members
of their staff.
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task achievement
Ensure all parts of the task are fully covered. Expand on your opinion by explaining why you believe providing sports facilities is beneficial.
task achievement
Work on developing your main points with specific examples or evidence. This will greatly enhance your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Improve the overall structure of your essay by ensuring it has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each part should serve its purpose effectively.
coherence cohesion
Increase the use of connective words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points more effectively, incorporate specific and relevant examples. Explain how these examples relate to the topic and your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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