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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.
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The line graph summarizes the data about the changes in the
birth
Use synonyms
 and
death
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand over a 200-year period from 1901 to 2101.
Overall
Linking Words
, what is worth mentioning is the constant rise in the number of demises that started in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2001.
While
Linking Words
 the
death
Use synonyms
 percentage is forecast to increase,
birth
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 are expected to change in a reversed direction till the end of the given time frame. To start with, both
death
Use synonyms
 and
birth
Use synonyms
 indicators demonstrated growth in the first half of the given period. Though the changes consisted mostly of moderate ups and downs for the
death
Use synonyms
 estimates, the
birth
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 estimates showed rapid changes in most of the years. The
birth
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rates
Use synonyms
 reached
the
Change the word
their
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 peak in 1961, increasing by an approximate percentage of 45%.
Death
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, had risen by almost 20% by the end of 2001. From 2001 onward,
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 percentage showed
extreme
Correct article usage
an extreme
show examples
 increase which is believed to be going up, even with faster speed.
According to
Linking Words
 estimations, the
death
Use synonyms
 numbers are expected to hit its biggest change and reach 60% by 2061.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
birth
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rates
Use synonyms
 are forecast to go down gradually and stay right above 40%
at the end
Linking Words
 of 2101.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, death, rates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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