The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar chart depicts information about employees by gender and kind of jobs, in

last

year, in Australia. There are seven categories divided by 2 sex: male and female.

Overall

, there are more

men

than

women

in all sectors of jobs, except clerical. The most common job for

men

is tradespeople,

whereas

for

women

is clerical. Professional jobs are the group where the difference by sex is lower,

while

the cluster where the difference is higher, is tradespeople. There are far more

men

in management and production roles. Despite in the clerical sector

women

are the majority, almost 1 million, the number of employed people in

this

sector is the second most often among

men

(900,000). The categories where

men

are less frequent are labourers (400.00) and semi-professionals (500.000). Among

women

, tradespeople (100,00) and production (100,00) presented the same amount and both sectors are the least common.

Overall

, there are more male people working than female people, in absolute numbers.

Submitted by fmulato on Sun Feb 25 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

160 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we jus watch television. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Do you think business should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the same company ?Explain why do you agree or disagree use specific reasons and details to support your answer

The line graph illustrates that the amount of coffee sent abroad from Brazil, Colombia and Costa Rica between 2002 and 2012. A glance at the graph reveals that all of the exports reached a higher capacity than in the begining.