The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar chart depicts information about employees by gender and kind of jobs, in

last

year, in Australia. There are seven categories divided by 2 sex: male and female.

Overall

, there are more

men

than

women

in all sectors of jobs, except clerical. The most common job for

men

is tradespeople,

whereas

for

women

is clerical. Professional jobs are the group where the difference by sex is lower,

while

the cluster where the difference is higher, is tradespeople. There are far more

men

in management and production roles. Despite in the clerical sector

women

are the majority, almost 1 million, the number of employed people in

this

sector is the second most often among

men

(900,000). The categories where

men

are less frequent are labourers (400.00) and semi-professionals (500.000). Among

women

, tradespeople (100,00) and production (100,00) presented the same amount and both sectors are the least common.

Overall

, there are more male people working than female people, in absolute numbers.

Submitted by fmulato on Sun Feb 25 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

160 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

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The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

roads will be safer if cyclist pass exsam each year. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbles and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this Information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Do you agree that there are still many more major technological innovations to be made?

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?