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Writing Samples
Band 5

Accomodation and transport problems are increasing in many large cities. Businesses are encouraged to move to rural areas . Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

#accomodation #transport #cities #businesses #move #areas
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In many parts of the world, corporations are stimulated to move to suburbs to reduce the problems of transport and accommodation. In my way of thinking the benefits of
this
 outweigh the drawbacks. In
this
 essay, I am planning to highlight a few aspects that substantiate my point. Talking about cons, first of all, I would like to point out the increased distance which makes it inconvenient to get to a company every day for its employees.
Moreover
, travelling longer distances is more expensive.
In addition
, usually companies improve the infrastructure in their neighbourhood.
Hence
, moving to another place can make worse the look of the downtown.
For example
, when the new state university in my country was constructed outside the
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
,
myriad
Correct article usage
a myriad
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 of students were forced to get there every day. Despite all the above-mentioned drawbacks, I firmly believe that solving the traffic and accommodation issues outbalances all the cons. The more people are forced to come to the
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 the more tightened the housing market becomes, and the more congested the streets become. Of course, these problems must be solved in a comprehensive manner using other methods
such
 as increasing the rent of apartments in the
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and improving the parking system. Obviously, the decreased quantity of vehicles leads to less air and noise pollution with all causing consequences. The lack of housing, in turn, leads to an increase in the number of homeless people on the streets, which affects the economic situation in the
city
. In conclusion,
although
 positioning the corporation in the
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
show examples
 has a few disadvantages, solving
such
 essential issues as traffic congestion and enough quantity of houses for individuals overbalances them all.
Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen your essay structure by introducing clear paragraph topics at the beginning and summarizing the main points at the end of each paragraph. This will provide a clearer logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Make sure you introduce your main points in the introduction and restate them in the conclusion for better coherence.
task achievement
Elaborate more on how moving businesses to rural areas directly influences the advantages and disadvantages mentioned. This will give your essay a more complete response to the task.
task achievement
Use a wider range of relevant examples to support your main points. This helps in making your arguments clearer and more comprehensive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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