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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. _ Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. _ Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The presented charts illustrate the proportion of owning
computers
Use synonyms
 throughout an eight-year period, starting from 2002 and different educational levels of having one in 2002 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that computer ownership witnessed an increasing trend over the given time frame.
Additionally
Linking Words
, postgraduated people had the highest portion of ownership,
while
Linking Words
 the ones who
had
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not a high school diploma owned
computers
Use synonyms
 less than others. In detail, in 2002, 55 per cent of the total population had
computers
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2004 and 2006 generally, almost two-thirds of individuals owned
computers
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by 2010, having a computer reached a peak at 80% of the total population. In terms of educational level, only 18%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 who did not have a high school diploma had PC,
while
Linking Words
 in the following eight years it went up to about 40%.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 number was around 40% and 70% for high school
graduated
Replace the word
graduates
show examples
 in 2002 and 2010 respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
, around half of college students owned one in 2002
this
Linking Words
 number rose to 85% in 2010.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the ones who had bachelor's degrees and
postgraduated
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
 consisted of the highest ratio at 70% and 90% in 2002 and 75% and 95 per cent in 2010.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words computers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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