He chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.
The presented graph illustrates the proportion of total spending among different age groups of residents in the UK throughout the 2004 period.
Overall
, it can be seen that frequently food
and drink
had a higher percentage among other categories than entertainment
and the lowest category
was restaurant
and hotel.
In detail, in the group under 30
the Add a comma
30,
restaurant
and hotels have 14 per cent while
the second category
is considered half of the first category
followed by food
and drink
about two degrees less. In addition
, from 31 to 45 in food
and drink
by 13 then
other categories decrease gradually. By contrast
, in
46 to Change preposition
from
60
the percentage of Add a comma
60,
food
and drink
increased to 20 and
followed by Correct word choice
apply
restaurant
and hotels by 12
as for Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
entertainment
two degrees higher. Moreover
, in 61 to 75 entertainment
comes by 23 per cent then
food
and hotel by 20 and the last
category
is restaurant
. Finally
, up 76 in food
and drink
by 23 per cent gradually then
entertainment
and finally
restaurant
and hotel.
In the end, as we note, every categories
is different in spending among different in every age Change to a singular noun
category
groups
, Fix the agreement mistake
group
therefore
, food
and drink
were considered the favourite of most people, unlike restaurants and hotels.Submitted by sesjej1330 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, drink, entertainment, category, restaurant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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