IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.
#information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart draws the conclusion from a survey of the amount at the
Baitish
Correct your spelling
British
 donating money to charity by
nge
Correct your spelling
age
 range in bath years 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data provide information on before people reach to around fifty
yeurs
Correct your spelling
years
 old, they were
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 kind and generous. Even they helped to another more.
However
Linking Words
, the number of them a gentle decline in 2010. In
chart
Add an article
the chart
a chart
show examples
, the age of people
divided
Add a missing verb
is divided
show examples
five
Change preposition
into five
show examples
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 from 18 years old to
older
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
65. In 1990, it
seams
Correct your spelling
seems
show examples
 to
the
Add a missing verb
be the
show examples
 rate of 36-50 that helped to the poverty.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, when they get older, the figures
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 their number
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
. In 2010, the trend was
simillar
Correct your spelling
similar
 to two
decates
Correct your spelling
decades
 ago,
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the
tendancy
Correct your spelling
tendency
 happened to
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 reached a peak in the first period
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their life until 65, before it fell suddenly. There was the majority portion between 51and 65 approximately 40 per cent. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, the
pervious
Correct your spelling
previous
show examples
 data
provides
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 that people helped
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the poor above 40%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from 36 to 50.
Submitted by Hassanihn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: