In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

The debate over which group, namely the elderly and younger
generation
, should be of almost appreciation is one that has been long contested. I am of the opinion that despite the economic values fostered by young and adults, gratitude towards older people should be expressed
due to
general human morality and their thorough understanding. It must be understood that
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
show examples
of teenagers are the future seeds with their intelligence, courage, self-confidence and understanding in every
activities
Change the noun form
activity
show examples
field and
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
field was the top target for learning, searching and developing
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
economy
as improving
Change preposition
to improve
show examples
homeland
Correct article usage
the homeland
show examples
more
strong
Change the word
strongly
show examples
and
beautiful
Change the word
beautifully
show examples
. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, the young
also
play an important role as the workforce in the world are sagacious , diligent,
creative
Correct word choice
and creative
show examples
to make breakthroughs in myriad
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
. Take Mark Zuckerberg, the
37 years old
Correct your spelling
37-year-old
CEO of Facebook, as a prime example,
this
young man has successfully created a global social network
that is
a multi-billion dollar business model, which can revolutionarily facilitate communication across the globe.
Not with standing
Correct your spelling
Notwithstanding
show examples
the aforementioned arguments, I still believe that
olders
Correct your spelling
older
should not be depreciated because of moral principles in human life. It is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
fact that
senior
Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
show examples
have devoted their whole life
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
missing youthful
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
show examples
to the growth of our society so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
treating them with dignity and respect is
paramount
Change preposition
of paramount
show examples
importance.
Besides
, the elderly have passed down their ample life experience as valuable lessons from
generation
to the new
generation
for assisting the young guys to
take
Verb problem
overcome
show examples
obstacles. In conclusion,
although
I acknowledge the potential of the young in economic terms, I would argue that the elderly should be respected
due to
their vast amount of knowledge and the codes of ethics in the civilization of mankind.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure clarity and conciseness in your sentences to improve readability and the effectiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay and make it more cohesive.
task response
Further develop your examples with more details to better support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to paragraph structure, ensuring each has a clear main idea and is expanded upon cohesively.
coherence cohesion
Consistently check for and correct grammatical errors to improve the overall quality of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
What to do next:
Look at other essays: