In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#places #age #cultures #youth

It is argued that old

people

will become valuable in some countries

whereas

there will be many places that

priorize

Correct your spelling

prioritise

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generationa

Correct your spelling

generation

generations

generation a

better. I am of the opinion of the latter statement and the reason will be shown below through

this

essay. In

thia

Correct your spelling

this

modern society, the pace of life has become faster and many state-of-the-art facilities and amenities

were

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

established almost everywhere to serve human lives.

This

is because the young started to break their safety zone and collide with broader knowledge by inventing new modern technological

invention

Fix the agreement mistake

inventions

show examples

For instance

, Mark

Zukerberg

Correct your spelling

Zuckerberg

, who is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

CEO of Facebook has successfully created a global social networking site which

connected

Wrong verb form

connects

show examples

people

from around the world, his invention

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not only

help

Wrong verb form

helped

show examples

people

Verb problem

apply

show examples

communicate better but

also

sharing

Wrong verb form

shared

show examples

several

gobal

Correct your spelling

global

news.

Secondly

, young

peole

Correct your spelling

people

will be more

passonate

Correct your spelling

passionate

and

dilligent

Correct your spelling

diligent

thanthe older

one

Fix the agreement mistake

ones

show examples

because they are in their first steps of exploring the world and full of energy to work effectively.

For example

, the young can stay up late for their work and know well about information technology to do some useful

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

which older

people

cannot do.

As a

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

youth plays an important

rile

Correct your spelling

role

show examples

in almost every

cultures

Change to a singular noun

culture

show examples

However

, some may think that

oler

Correct your spelling

older

age should be valued because they have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

vast

Change preposition

apply

show examples

life experience and can assist young

peope

Correct your spelling

people

to tackle

Change preposition

in tackling

show examples

obstacles and

guid

Correct your spelling

guide

them to go

Change preposition

show examples

the right path. It may be true, but letting the young experience

Correct pronoun usage

it by

show examples

themselves will give them

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

profound feelings and lessons. In conclusion,

although

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

should be valued in some places because they are full of life experience and can guide earlier

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

you

people

will be more passionate and

Correct your spelling

diligent

dilligent

Correct your spelling

diligent

to work on their own as well

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Feb 26 2024

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Grammar

Be sure to proofread your essay to correct small grammatical errors and typos, such as 'thia' instead of 'this', 'Zukerberg' instead of 'Zuckerberg', and 'passonate and dilligent thanthe older one' should be 'passionate and diligent than the older one'. These minor adjustments will help improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Vocabulary

Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to articulate your points. You have the right ideas, but varying your word choice can help your essay stand out and more effectively convey your perspective.

Argumentation

Your essay does a good job of presenting both sides of the argument. However, to strengthen your position, consider adding more detailed examples and deepening your analysis of each point. This can include data, research findings, or more specific case studies to back up your claims.

Coherence

Your essay can benefit from clearer transitions between paragraphs and within them. Phrases that signal changes in argument or support your points can guide the reader through your essay more smoothly.

Task Achievement

You successfully discussed both viewpoints on the value of youth and old age in society, which fulfills the task requirement.

Argument Structure

You provided a balanced view by presenting both sides of the argument before giving your opinion, which is crucial in a discuss both views essay.

Use of Examples

Including examples, such as Mark Zuckerberg's contribution to global communication, helps illustrate your point and make your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

repositories of knowledge
esteemed
insights
embedded
seeking advice
prioritizing
premium on innovation
dynamism
adaptability
technological advancements
entrepreneurs
pioneers
indispensable
stability
harmonious
progressive

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In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

Some people think we need more female leaders to create world peace and reduce violence. To what extent do you agree?

Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+