In some places old age is valued,while in other cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both viewws and give your own opinion.

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The role of old
people
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compared to
youngs
Correct your spelling
young

The word youngs doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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is a navigation that has conversial
answer
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answers

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, There are frequent debates regarding the worth of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and age is one of the bases
on
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apply

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more important, I would say both have significance, but
distinct
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are distinct

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in nature. On the one side, there are
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who give more value to old
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because of the invaluable experience they have. To be precise, it is almost a proven fact that as
people
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get older, they learn more from their
real life
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real-life

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experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences

It seems that experience may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. These lessons they have learned are crucial for the younger generation
,
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apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker if. Consider removing the comma.

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if these are shared with them.
For example
Linking Words

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, a Second World War veteran can share critical
life-skills
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life skills

The word life-skills doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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like surviving in an extremely hostile situation more effectively than any best teacher. Another area in which the old age
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are exceptional is in case of transferring
the
Correct article usage
apply

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precious culture and heritage to their immediate generation, and
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is inevitable for the society’s identity.
On the other hand
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,a group of
people
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agree young
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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more important because of the following reasons.
Firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,they are the key
of
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to

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a bright future
about
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for

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one
Correct determiner usage
a

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development
Replace the word
developed

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country,living in the best
conditon
Correct your spelling
condition

If you don’t want conditon to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

instead
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of war,disasters in the past can help them
gained
Wrong verb form
gain

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb gained. Consider changing it.

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knowledge to serve for nation.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,the reason why many companies prefer young professionals
than
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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old and established ones is because of higher productivity at a lesser cost.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the youth can adapt flexibly to the innovative ideas, which are put forward by firms and governments. After analysing both views in detail, I feel
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun society in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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society needs invaluable experience and service of the old ones. At the same time, it
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

requires a strong population of productive workforce, who can adapt to the progressing situations.

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task achievement
Consider introducing your essay with a clear thesis statement that outlines your discussion points and your stance to give readers an immediate understanding of your essay's direction.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the coherence of your essay by making clearer connections between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases like 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'In contrast' to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Improve your essay by paraphrasing the task prompt more effectively in your introduction. This shows your ability to express complex ideas in your own words.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, provide more detailed and specific examples. While you mentioned the roles of old people and youth, concrete examples or case studies could enrich your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Review and correct grammatical errors and ensure the correct use of articles ('a', 'an', 'the'). This will significantly improve the readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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