IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give youy opinion.

#places #age #cultures #youth #youy
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It is controversial that the elderly are crucial for their profound knowledge and experience
whereas
Linking Words
 in other cultures the younger
generations
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 are regarded as the future and potential variations in numerous fields. Personally,
this
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 writer supposes that the youth may play a vital role in
cutural
Correct your spelling
cultural
 and financial
development
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,
old
Correct word choice
and old
show examples
 citizens should be respected fairly. On the one hand, it is significant to understand that among the long-term history and profound changes in a certain culture, the
ealier
Correct your spelling
earlier
generations
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 have been the ones who experienced and adapted all of that totally.
Therefore
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, they are highly knowledgeable and professional
as well as
Linking Words
 they are the very first builders who created a new background for prolonged
development
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 regarding culture, finance and military.
Moreover
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, the massive information and various stories in the past are witnessed by the ole, so that younger
generations
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 can absorb and learn from those as useful lessons to prepare themselves
subtantially
Correct your spelling
substantially
. As an example, a
100 year-old
Add a hyphen
100-year-old
show examples
 soldier in Russia once shared his feelings during his time serving the country in
realistic
Change the article
a realistic
show examples
 way and we
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 imagine how dramatic violence and war are.
On the other hand
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, younger
genarations
Correct your spelling
generations
generation
 are building up
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 and better world as we can aware today.
This
Linking Words
 is because they have huge
ambition
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ambitions
show examples
 for their dreams and their learning abilities and efforts should not be underestimated.
As a consequence
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, a certain financial circumstance in a nation
relys
Correct your spelling
relies
rely
 on the youth's
shoulder
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shoulders
show examples
 because numerous state-of-the-art technologies are being upgraded by young and skilled mechanists. Take Elon Musk a
39 year-old
Add a hyphen
39-year-old
show examples
 entrepreneur as an example, he created a global wifi hotspot for everyone around the world with his talents and well-solving skills in
such
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 difficult situations.
To sum up
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, notwithstanding that early age had a profound impact on future
development
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.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 we
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
also
Linking Words
 accept the fact that younger
generations
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 are taking more and more
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 to develop the country.
Hence
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, both ages are crucial for the country's
development
Use synonyms
.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your position. This sets the stage for a coherent essay.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphing effectively to organize your essay. Each paragraph should center around one main idea, with the first sentence introducing the idea and the subsequent sentences developing it.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas and paragraphs with cohesive devices (e.g., consequently, however, for instance) to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Address the task fully by discussing both views presented in the prompt and clearly stating your own position. Your conclusion should summarize the discussion and restate your viewpoint.
task achievement
Support your ideas with relevant examples and explanations. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Double-check for grammar and spelling errors as they can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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