In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The debate over which group namely the
ederly
and younger generations, should be of Correct your spelling
elderly
most
appreciation is one that has been long contested. I am of the opinion that disagree and will discuss Correct article usage
the most
Correct pronoun usage
this at
at
the following essay.
There is no denying that why seniors are considered golden Change preposition
in
is
because they are Unnecessary verb
apply
the
books that contain Correct article usage
apply
out
cultural background, they can be the best source to make an angel familiar with the style Correct your spelling
our
his
custom. Change preposition
of his
For example
, in Viet Nam, when working parents often prefer to let their children play as
an important roleChange preposition
apply
,
so that they can learn good moral values and know about their traditions.
Adolescents, Remove the comma
apply
on the contrary
, have their own place in the family. They are said to have at
flexible wind and maximum functioning Change preposition
apply
body
at Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
this
age, so they can benefit not only their family but also
the whole nation. To explain, multinational companies often employ a large number of young people
to work instead
of old aged.
Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I still believe that under no circumstances should older people
be depreciated because of moral principles in human life
and their wealth of knowledge. Regarding the former, seniors have devoted their whole life
to contributing to the growth of our society; Fix the agreement mistake
lives
therefore
, treating them with dignity and respect is of paramount importance. Coupled with
this
is that the elderly have ample life
experience passed down from one generation to the next as valuable lessons which are essential in assisting young people
to tackle obstacles and guiding them to the right path in life
. This
fact explains the rationale behind the reality that a great number of leaders in the world are seniors.
In conclusion, although
people
still have many different conceptions. However
, I think each part has a seperate
and independent role, so both deserve respect in Correct your spelling
separate
the
society.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on
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task achievement
Ensure a clear stance throughout the essay. Your initial opinion seems contradictory ("I am of the opinion that disagree") which confuses readers. Clarify your position in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Expand your introduction to clearly present the topics of discussion and your thesis statement. A more developed introduction sets a clearer path for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the development of paragraphs with clear topic sentences that directly relate to the essay question. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples. While you've provided general examples, more detailed situations or data could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammar and vocabulary. Avoid run-on sentences and strive for precision in language to enhance clarity and the persuasive quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on the paragraphing. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences. This helps with the logical progression of your essay and enhances reader understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion needs to summarise the points discussed and clearly restate your stance. Avoid introducing new ideas or being vague about your position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.