The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar and line graphs provide data concerning the revenue of bathing
suits sale
Fix the agreement mistake
suit sales
show examples
and the average
temperature
of the first semester of 2012 in New York City, respectively.
Overall
, the majority
sales
Change preposition
of sales
show examples
happened in April when the weather was mild and the
temperature
had
constant
Correct article usage
a constant
show examples
increase during the period. The
temperature
line started in January
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
thirteen degrees and stayed steady until February when it presented
constant
Add an article
a constant
show examples
increase of almost ten
degreens
Correct your spelling
degrees
per month until summer in the following period,
whereas
bath suits
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
rose US$ 500.000 in the first three months. The majority
sales
Change preposition
of sales
show examples
occurred,
however
in April, when the weather was mild around fifty degrees,
achieving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
almost US$ 300.000 of bathing clothes sold.
On the other hand
, when the
temperature
was hotter, achieving 60F and 70F in May and June, respectively, the sales had a steep drop in the numbers, presenting an average of US$80.000 in the former and less than US$ 40.000 in the latter month.
Submitted by carinabmurakami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly temperatures
  • bathing suit sales
  • correlation
  • monthly breakdown
  • significant changes
  • warmest months
  • speculate
  • trends
  • increase in temperature
  • contrasting
  • predictive speculation
  • general trends
  • specific months
What to do next:
Look at other essays: