It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviour in addition to provide formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
schools
should teach students to be good people apart from providing formal education. I completely agree with this
statement because children
spend long hours at schools
, and Fix the agreement mistake
school
parents
have to pay for tuition fees.
Schools
should be responsible for teaching children
to have good manners
because children
spend a significant amount of time at schools
. Fix the agreement mistake
school
This
is because when children
spend a lot of time with teachers who usually act as role models for them, students can learn and imitate good manners
. For example
, students from one of the most famous schools
in Thailand reported that they behave themselves well because their teachers instilled good values in them while
studying at schools
.
Another reason is that Fix the agreement mistake
school
parents
have to pay for
tuition fees, so they expect their Change preposition
apply
children
to become good people. This
is due to
the fact that parents
expect their children
to be successful both professionally and personally. For instance
, international schools
in Thailand charge parents
a lot of money, so their parents
expect their children
to be excellent not only at academic subjects,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
good manners
.
In conclusion, schools
have to be responsible for teaching about good manners
because children
spend a lot of time at schools
, and Fix the agreement mistake
school
parents
have to pay for education costs.Submitted by aiforeducation2023 on
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task achievement
To improve task response, try to deepen your analysis by exploring the nuances of the statement. It would be beneficial to acknowledge potential arguments against your position and offer counterarguments. This adds complexity and demonstrates an ability to engage critically with the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Increasing the range of linking words beyond basic connectors ('because', 'for example') and incorporating more sophisticated ones ('thus', 'therefore', 'hence') could enhance your essay's flow and cohesiveness.
coherence and cohesion
Using a wider variety of sentence structures and syntax can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate your language flexibility. Try to blend short and long sentences, and use both active and passive voices to vary your writing style.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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