Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Soma
people
work
for the same organisation
all their working life. Others
think that it is better to work
for all people
. Some organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
is
very good for somebody and again to opposite Correct subject-verb agreement
are
another humans
.
Many Replace the adjective
another human
other humans
people
believe that same
Correct article usage
the same
job
is exteremely
boring. They think that often must Correct your spelling
extremely
a
change their own Correct article usage
apply
job
. They are not loyal own job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
They
search is better Correct pronoun usage
Their
organisation
. They can not enjoy from same work
. Moreover
, they try
find a new Add the particle
try to
job
. Although
, it make
Change the verb form
makes
awkward
. Correct pronoun usage
it awkward
However
, some people
want to work
same organisation
. It is interest
for Wrong verb form
interesting
they
. All Change the pronoun
them
people
think that a
Correct article usage
apply
different
.
In my opinion, Change the word
differently
same
Change the article
the same
job
is well. For instance
, I would prefer same
Correct article usage
the same
organisation
than others
different jobs. Currently, I study at school. I will Correct quantifier usage
other
work
same
Change the article
the same
job
. By reason
Change preposition
Reason
of
, my father Change preposition
apply
also
work
it. Correct subject-verb agreement
works
This
will be extremely interesting and amazing. My dad enjoys from own same
Correct word choice
apply
job
. Many humans work
their own job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
fourty
or fifty years. And again Correct your spelling
for forty
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
people
opposite to this
point. Same
Add an article
The same
organisation
is growth
experience. They are by Add an article
a growth
same
Change the article
the same
job
be familiar.
In conclusion, many humans work
for the same organisation
all their working life. Others
think that it is better to work
for different
Add an article
a different
organisation
. All people
think a
Correct article usage
apply
different
. Change the word
differently
Same
Correct article usage
The same
work
is well for me. I enjoy it. In my view, same
Correct article usage
the same
job
more
useful and again profitable. It growth our experience. Add a missing verb
is more
Although
, you might familiar
Add a missing verb
be familiar
by
it. It was my idea.Change preposition
with
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Coherence & Cohesion
Clarify your argument by providing a clear introduction that presents both sides of the discussion and clearly states your own opinion. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your supporting points with specific examples and explanations. Avoid repeating the same ideas and strive for a variety of sentence structures.
Task Achievement
Address the task more fully by discussing both views presented in the prompt before stating your own opinion. Provide clear reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Task Achievement
Work on organizing your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should discuss a single main idea related to the prompt.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example