Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction

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In recent years, earning has become a priority over the kind of work people are involved

Change preposition

in.

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I strongly disagree with

this

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statement because in

this

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case, everyone is working towards wages but not for improvement.

To begin

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with, we all wanted to get into a job that pays us a lot in the market but we are not looking for one which helps in personal growth.

For instance

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, students nowadays want to get into engineering colleges where they don’t have any idea about what they are going to learn.

Hence

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they do not gain knowledge out of interest

instead

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this

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system makes them feel that money is more crucial than knowledge.

Secondly

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, students and young generals of the country choose safe courses and workplaces that give them security.

This

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results in restricting themselves explore a lot of other opportunities in the world which they may like working with self-satisfaction. To illustrate there are more options in design fields other than fashion and interior design that students fail to research.

Thus

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confining themselves to

overall

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decisions created by society.

In addition

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, money has evidently registered in the growing minds as an important factor leading them to be involved in some illegal practices and

also

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with

behaviors

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behaviours

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like selfishness and jealousy. In conclusion, the majority of the nation is working for wages rather than the progress of the company or individual. If

this

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changes, there will be a great profit which includes making money

as well as

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fulfillment.

Thus

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I suggest parents spread healthier thoughts about workspace among children.

Submitted by thilagaraj7007 on Tue Feb 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to develop a more structured approach in presenting your ideas. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and follow it with supporting details and examples.

coherence cohesion

For your introduction and conclusion, ensure they are more clearly defined. State your thesis statement more explicitly in the introduction and summarise your main points more clearly in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will also help in improving the overall coherence.

task achievement

To fully meet the task requirements, make sure to address all parts of the question directly and develop a clear argument throughout your essay. Your position should be clear from the beginning and maintained throughout.

task achievement

Try to use a variety of sentence structures and a more formal vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly and effectively. This will help in making your points more comprehensive.

task achievement

Include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will help in substantiating your points and make your essay more persuasive.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

Teamwork offers a lot of benefits in modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is the best for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their countries. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?

Nowadays, distance-learning programs are such common thing for us (the study material by post, by internet) but some people argue that courses can never be taken as good as those by attending in a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries today, people are having their first child when they are older. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?