In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.
In modern days some arguments that some
places
have long lifespans are valued while
in other cultures
youth
has become more virtual.The writer of this
essay disagreed with the importance of cultures
is
larger than the old Wrong verb form
being
age
ones because the places
old age
have more valued
Replace the word
value
about
Change preposition
in
historical
and have some aspect of traditional Replace the word
history
cultures
in local. Turning to the main reason that made the places
old age
are more valuable than other cultures
youth
.It can be considered many necessary factors cause places
old
Change preposition
of old
age
to become important that more historical such
as past traditional icons have existed in the modern day and also
have more characteristics in traditional local The main reason that makes the
Correct article usage
apply
places
, old
Change preposition
of old
age
become more important than the other culture's youth
.It can be known that the
Change to a genitive case
the youth of the culture
cultures
youth
just appear in the modern day and do not have any historical and these cultures
also
disorganized become valuable tradition in local and country. Thus
, it can be seen that the places
where old age
has become more important and valuable not only for locals but also
for the country than the other culture's youth
.Submitted by zky1705202 on
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Task Achievement
To improve your score, start with a clear introduction that directly addresses the question and outlines your stance. Your introduction should succinctly state that you will discuss both views before giving your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay into paragraphs, each addressing a specific point. Begin with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea of the paragraph, followed by supporting sentences that develop or explain that idea.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Examples help to illustrate your argument and make it more convincing. These can be drawn from your own experience, the news, history, or literature.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on using a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary. This will not only improve your score for lexical resource and grammatical range and accuracy but also make your essay more engaging to read.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite