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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both views and giv your opinion.

#places #age #cultures #youth #giv
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There is an opposition
point
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 in some cultures that
youth
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 and old age which is more vital for the community. I totally agree with the view that the
youth
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 play a crucial role in our world and
this
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 author discusses both views given. beginning with the
point
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 about old age which says is more important. The elderly people have learned a lot so they must have acquired a large amount of knowledge and experience. They will hardly ever fail in their fields and will bring benefits to finance.
However
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,
as a result
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 of being older and older, their ambition to make a breakthrough or their creativity can not be more fired than the
youth
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 as they would be valued for just a short time.
While
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 the
youth
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 may have better thinking because they open their mind to learn new things,
therefore
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 young people can be helpful with providing leap ideas. Being young is a good condition for learning but it will take a long time if there is nobody to teach them
otherwise
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 they must have been self-taught. In conclusion, each
point
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 has solid arguments and drawbacks. At my
point
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe that the
youth
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 play a crucial role in
this
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 world.

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Coherence/Cohesion
Focus on clear and concise sentence structures to avoid ambiguity and enhance clarity. Avoid overly complicated sentences.
Coherence/Cohesion
Enhance the essay's logical flow by using a wider range of linking phrases and ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
Task Achievement
For a fuller response to the task, systematically discuss the importance of both old age and youth before concluding with a reasoned opinion.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points, adding depth and persuasiveness to your arguments.
Coherence/Cohesion
Work on developing a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize your main points and clearly state your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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