IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is a better than watching TV or playing computers game for children to what extend do you agree

#people #stories #book #tv #computers #game #children
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There is an
intensive
Replace the word
intense
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 debate about what is the best way for children to grow their brains, is
reading
Change preposition
by reading
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 a book from stories, watching TV or playing games. Reading books are a boring way to educate kids and a lot of
child
Change to a plural noun
children
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 lack interest in
this
Linking Words
 field. In opposite, playing
vedio
Correct your spelling
video
 games and watching TV are more attractive to pupils than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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traditional media. So l totally disagree with the first view, and even
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 books we can present them to children through recent methods.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on developing a clear thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader through your argument. This will help in ensuring a more structured and coherent essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the essay's logical structure by organizing your ideas more effectively. Present each point in a new paragraph, and make use of transition words to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your thesis in light of the evidence you've presented.
Task Achievement
Address the task more directly by discussing both sides of the argument to a certain extent. Ensure your essay thoroughly addresses the question asked.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate your ideas more clearly and comprehensively.
Task Achievement
Include relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. This will help to illustrate your points and make your essay more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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