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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activity. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The chart below shows average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activity. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words
#hours #minutes #uk #males #females #activity #information #features #comparisons
the given table depicts information about
hours
 and minutes which were spent by UK residents
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their daily different activities after the analysis, it is clearly stated that sleep for average men and women took huge
time
 accounting for eight
hours
while
for
Change preposition
apply
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eating and drinking took almost one
hours
Change to a singular noun
hour
show examples
 in their daily routines
moreover
,
time
 spent on leisure
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
such
 as watching and listening hold
significant
Add an article
a significant
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 portion of almost three
hours
 whilst social life and entertainment maintained a second spot of their daily routines the rest of the activity hold a smaller portion on wasting their
time
furthermore
, there was one hour difference between men and women for
Correct your spelling
employment
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 and study
similarly
, for housework
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 consume most of their
time
 but for traveling both spent equal
time
however
, for childcare and other
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 activities did not
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
major portion of their
time
overall
, it is vividly manifested that for all leisure activities done by them per day, men spent most of their energy
while
 sleep remained
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 activity done by them equally
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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