IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activity. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The chart below shows average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activity. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words
#hours #minutes #uk #males #females #activity #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart below illustrates different gender who lives in the UK and spend hours and
minutes
Use synonyms
 per day on various daily activities.
Overall
Linking Words
, as you can see sleep is a popular routine between males and
females
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, men sleep 8. 04 hours per day
while
Linking Words
females
Use synonyms
 sleep more some
minutes
Use synonyms
 exactly 14
minutes
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
females
Use synonyms
 spend the same
minutes
Use synonyms
 in resting and personal care (48
minutes
Use synonyms
).
In addition
Linking Words
, males spend
time
Use synonyms
 eating and drinking more than
females
Use synonyms
 (1. 25
minutes
Use synonyms
).
Also
Linking Words
, it is obvious that men spend
time
Use synonyms
 for sport about 0. 13
minutes
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 women spend
time
Use synonyms
 for that activity 0. 07 seconds.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, males spend
time
Use synonyms
 1. 41
minutes
Use synonyms
 per day on
housework
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
females
Use synonyms
 do
housework
Use synonyms
 approximately 1 hour more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men. In conclusion, all activities have the same
time
Use synonyms
 except for
housework
Use synonyms
 and sports as you can understand girls do
housework
Use synonyms
 more than boys
while
Linking Words
 boys do exercise more than
females
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bazarjanimohammadreza83 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, females, time, housework with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: