Request for Exception to Enroll in Computer Courses

#request #exception #computer #courses

Writing Task 1,

Correct your spelling

IELTS

ielts

Correct your spelling

general, can

Correct your spelling

you

estimate Dear enrollment officer, my name is Begaim and

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am a student of 11th grade In Almaty

school

Capitalize word

School

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124. As you for student like

Add a comma

me,

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it's time to start thinking about the future, to make a decision

who

Change preposition

about who

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I want to become or which sphere I am interested in. I have just read about Here computer

courses

and it got me interested so much. To be honest I had never

have

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had

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any practical or technical experience want to now. As

Change the capitalization

show examples

know

Change the capitalization

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am supposed to have completed elementary

courses

at least to enroll

Change preposition

on this

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

courses

wondering if it is,Possible to make an exception for me. I am very

goood

Correct your spelling

good

at mat. I have

partipicated

Correct your spelling

participated

Change preposition

show examples

many math regional competitions and even have taken

est

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last

show examples

places

Fix the agreement mistake

place

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2 times. You can find my diplomas attached to

this

email. I would be so grateful if you give me I chance to study your

courses

. I really want to

enroll

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enrol

show examples

your

Change preposition

on your

show examples

computer

courses

. And I would really appreciate

Correct pronoun usage

it if

show examples

you

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

hepme

Correct your spelling

help me

help

. Best regards, Begaim

Submitted by tomka.madka on Wed Feb 28 2024

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Task Achievement

Make sure to directly address the requirements of the task. Your letter must include all necessary details such as the purpose of writing, your specific situation, and what you are asking for. To improve, try using a more structured approach where each paragraph clearly addresses a distinct aspect of your request.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize your letter into clear paragraphs, each with a specific purpose (introduction, body paragraphs focusing on different aspects of your request, and a conclusion). Use cohesive devices (e.g., firstly, additionally, therefore) to connect ideas more effectively.

Task Achievement

Provide more detailed examples that are directly relevant to your argument. For example, you mentioned participating in math competitions; elaborate on how this experience might have prepared you for computer courses, demonstrating direct relevance to your request.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

180 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Request for Exception to Enroll in Computer Courses

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that introducing new technology can improve people's quality of life in the developing countries. Howevever, others believe that free education should be offered. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Working is an It is certainly an essential things in our lives. true that kids can achieve the best if they work hard. However, not all the effects of this innovation have been positive, although there are surely some advantages.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this becom a positive or negative development?

The cultures of many countries around the world becomes more similar than they used to be. What are the reasons for this trend? Is it positive or negative?

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your opinion.