Request for Exception to Enroll in Computer Courses

Writing Task 1,
Correct your spelling
IELTS
ielts
Correct your spelling
in
general, can
u
Correct your spelling
you
estimate Dear enrollment officer, my name is Begaim and
i
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I
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am a student of 11th grade In Almaty
school
Capitalize word
School
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124. As you for student like
me
Add a comma
me,
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it's time to start thinking about the future, to make a decision
who
Change preposition
about who
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I want to become or which sphere I am interested in. I have just read about Here computer
courses
and it got me interested so much. To be honest I had never
have
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had
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any practical or technical experience want to now. As
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
know
i
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I
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am supposed to have completed elementary
courses
at least to enroll
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on this
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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courses
wondering if it is,Possible to make an exception for me. I am very
goood
Correct your spelling
good
at mat. I have
partipicated
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participated
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
many math regional competitions and even have taken
est
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last
show examples
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
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2 times. You can find my diplomas attached to
this
email. I would be so grateful if you give me I chance to study your
courses
. I really want to
enroll
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enrol
show examples
your
Change preposition
on your
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computer
courses
. And I would really appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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you
can
Wrong verb form
could
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hepme
Correct your spelling
help me
help
. Best regards, Begaim
Submitted by tomka.madka on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the requirements of the task. Your letter must include all necessary details such as the purpose of writing, your specific situation, and what you are asking for. To improve, try using a more structured approach where each paragraph clearly addresses a distinct aspect of your request.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your letter into clear paragraphs, each with a specific purpose (introduction, body paragraphs focusing on different aspects of your request, and a conclusion). Use cohesive devices (e.g., firstly, additionally, therefore) to connect ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed examples that are directly relevant to your argument. For example, you mentioned participating in math competitions; elaborate on how this experience might have prepared you for computer courses, demonstrating direct relevance to your request.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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