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Band 2.5

Request for Exception to Enroll in Computer Courses

#request #exception #computer #courses
Writing Task 1,
Correct your spelling
IELTS
ielts
Correct your spelling
in
 general, can
u
Correct your spelling
you
 estimate Dear enrollment officer, my name is Begaim and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am a student of 11th grade In Almaty
school
Capitalize word
School
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 124. As you for student like
me
Add a comma
me,
show examples
 it's time to start thinking about the future, to make a decision
who
Change preposition
about who
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 I want to become or which sphere I am interested in. I have just read about Here computer
courses
 and it got me interested so much. To be honest I had never
have
Change the verb form
had
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 any practical or technical experience want to now. As
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 know
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 am supposed to have completed elementary
courses
 at least to enroll
Change preposition
on this
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
courses
 wondering if it is,Possible to make an exception for me. I am very
goood
Correct your spelling
good
 at mat. I have
partipicated
Correct your spelling
participated
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many math regional competitions and even have taken
est
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 2 times. You can find my diplomas attached to
this
 email. I would be so grateful if you give me I chance to study your
courses
. I really want to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
your
Change preposition
on your
show examples
 computer
courses
. And I would really appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 you
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
hepme
Correct your spelling
help me
help
. Best regards, Begaim
Submitted by tomka.madka on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the requirements of the task. Your letter must include all necessary details such as the purpose of writing, your specific situation, and what you are asking for. To improve, try using a more structured approach where each paragraph clearly addresses a distinct aspect of your request.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your letter into clear paragraphs, each with a specific purpose (introduction, body paragraphs focusing on different aspects of your request, and a conclusion). Use cohesive devices (e.g., firstly, additionally, therefore) to connect ideas more effectively.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed examples that are directly relevant to your argument. For example, you mentioned participating in math competitions; elaborate on how this experience might have prepared you for computer courses, demonstrating direct relevance to your request.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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