The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is noticeable that
science
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has improved many aspects of our
lives
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.
While
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I agree that it is an important aim
using
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to use
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science
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for
human's
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human
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improvement, there are other goals which are important as well. By conducting scientific
researcch
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research
,
people
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can greatly benefit from the results.
Firstly
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, medical improvements can be
done
Verb problem
made
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by
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through
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scientific
experiement
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experiment
experiments
, which
prolongs
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prolong
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people
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's
lives
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.
For example
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,
high quility
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high-quality
medicines that are more affordable and efficient can provide better medical treatments.
Also
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, facilitating
science
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related to engineering can show an upgrade for our daily
lives
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. Building materials,
such
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as steel and concrete, are synthetic components, which act as
solified
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solidified
and safe
achitechtural
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architectural
elements for
infrastucture
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infrastructure
and buildings. In
this
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way,
people
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can live with safety
due to
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the scientific improvements.
However
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, though it is a crucial way for
human
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humans
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to benefit from
science
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, there are several other significant achievements. With the aid
in
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of
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scientific methods, animal's
lives
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can the same be improved. Habitats like forests and lakes can be maintained and well-organized by understanding more information about
the
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apply
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nature. Scientists can prevent those valuable environments from
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being damage
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damage
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damaged
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. Not only animal habitats but
also
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animal
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animals
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themselves can receive improvements. Animal saving plans that avoid extinction and increase biodiversity can dramatically play an important role in their
lives
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.
While
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scientists can duplicate the nearly
extincted
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extinct
genes from animals to stop them from disappearing, it shows the indispensable goals for scientific achievements, which
is
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are
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as important as improving
people
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's
live
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lives
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. In conclusion, I agree that
science
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creates
a vast opportunities
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vast opportunities
a vast opportunity
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for human improvement in our daily
lives
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, but animal-related aims are
also
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important at the same time.
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task achievement
Consider refining some of the examples to provide more specific and detailed support for your main points. For instance, you could further elaborate on how science specifically improves animal habitats.
task achievement
Try to present your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Some sentences are slightly awkward or unclear, which can impede understanding. This includes reviewing minor grammatical errors.
task achievement
Ensure that all key points are thoroughly developed. While main ideas are well-presented, slightly more elaboration could enhance clarity and depth.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The main points are logically supported, providing a good argumentative flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay offers a complete response to the prompt, addressing multiple aspects of the topic and providing relevant examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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