Many people work long hours, leavig very littletime foe leisure activities. Does thbis stiuation have more advantages or more disadvantgaes ?

We
leave
Correct your spelling
live
show examples
in
faster
Correct article usage
a faster
show examples
city. Many
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Full
time
and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the part
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
they always pay attention to their fitness and do some activities.
On
Correct your spelling
One
show examples
of the burning
Issue
Fix the agreement mistake
Issues
show examples
of today's world
, Many
Correct your spelling
that many
people working
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
and
increses
Correct your spelling
increasing
their lifestyle. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss some advantages and disadvantages in below paragraph. To
beging vith
Correct your spelling
begin with
, There are many
advantges
Correct your spelling
advantages
to
emlpoyees
Correct your spelling
employees
working all
day's
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day
show examples
Because their lifestyle
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
chenge
Correct your spelling
changed
and their income
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
they
provied
Correct your spelling
provide
provided
all facilities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
their family and
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
. He is living a good life. And
also
they always work hard and dedication. As a reason,
worker
Add an article
a worker
show examples
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
full
day's
Change noun form
days
show examples
and they
cenge
Correct your spelling
change
their personality. And improve their idea and Fashio.
As a result
, Some office
provied
Correct your spelling
provided
provide
their workers
Change preposition
with full
show examples
full
Add a hyphen
full-day's
show examples
day
's
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and they give some more money
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
and employers. On the other side of
coin
Add an article
the coin
show examples
, There are many
disadvantges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
for
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
working all
day's
Change the noun form
days
day
show examples
. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there are many
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
body
and
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
physical activities. And they
leaving
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
very little
time
for their activities. like, gym, outdoor
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
and Indoor
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
, for explain, some parents working more
time
and
theyb
Correct your spelling
they
do not attention their
pgysical
Correct your spelling
physical
fitness and their
body
.
Hence
, There are many
infection
Change to a plural noun
infections
show examples
to create their
body
like, Back pain, headache
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
eye
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
and many
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion, people always
haed
Correct your spelling
have
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
awareness
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
. Because It is
hyelping
Correct your spelling
helping
to
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
body
.
Submitted by Rachna Academy on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay more coherently. Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs - introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure each paragraph has a single main idea supported by examples or explanations.
task achievement
Work on developing and supporting your main points more thoroughly. Each advantage or disadvantage discussed should be clearly explained and, where possible, supported by specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to ensure your essay is as clear and understandable as possible. Errors in these areas can make your writing difficult to follow.
task achievement
Make sure your response directly addresses the prompt. Clearly state if the situation has more advantages or disadvantages in your introduction, and summarise your viewpoint in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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