IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Solving environmental problems should be the responsibility of international organization rather than each national government. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 are a global issue that affects everyone on the planet. Some people believe that solving environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 should be the responsibility of international
organizations
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that each national government should be responsible for solving their own environmental
problems
Use synonyms
. I think that international
organizations
Use synonyms
 are better equipped to handle environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 than national governments and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss why international governments are better at solving environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 than national governments. On the one hand, international
organizations
Use synonyms
 have the ability to solve the world's environmental
problems
Use synonyms
. Many
problems
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
climate
Use synonyms
 change, have an effect around the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Paris Agreement by the United Nations
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 aims to unite
countries
Use synonyms
 in the fight against
climate
Use synonyms
 change on a worldwide scale.
Moreover
Linking Words
, cooperation between many
countries
Use synonyms
 provides effective environmental action.
For example
Linking Words
, the Intergovernmental Panel on
Climate
Use synonyms
 Change (IPCC) brings together scientists and policymakers from around the world to assess
climate
Use synonyms
 science and make policy decisions.
Additionally
Linking Words
, gathering resources from different
countries
Use synonyms
 will increase the ability for new environmental ideas.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, (i) the loss of national independence for international
organizations
Use synonyms
 might reduce the safety of a country. (ii)
Countries
Use synonyms
 may have different priorities and values in terms of environmental management.
For instance
Linking Words
,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 withdrawal from the Agreement Paris reflects concerns about the loss of independence and
economic
Correct pronoun usage
its economic
show examples
 impact.
Moreover
Linking Words
, complex processes in international
organizations
Use synonyms
 can hinder timely action and decision-making may be slowed by building agreements between member states.
For example
Linking Words
, delays in the implementation of
climate
Use synonyms
 agreements
due to
Linking Words
 negotiations between different stakeholders may hinder the process of resolving urgent environmental issues. In conclusion, I think that environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 are a global issue and the international government should solve it because they have enough resources to do so.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement that specifies your position on the responsibility for solving environmental problems. This will help clarify your stance from the beginning.
Task Achievement
Although you provided relevant examples, incorporating more specific examples or data might strengthen your argument further. For instance, mentioning specific outcomes or initiatives from the Paris Agreement that have promoted global action on climate change.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure all parts of your essay are equally developed. While you've given multiple reasons why international organizations are effective, your counterargument section (beginning with 'On the other hand') is less detailed. Expand on counterarguments with more detail to balance your discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transitional phrases and conjunctions to improve flow between ideas and paragraphs. This enhances the logical structure of the essay and the reader's ability to follow your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • nation's jurisdiction
  • international collaboration
  • global response
  • coordinated effort
  • enforcing environmental laws
  • sharing best practices
  • innovations and technologies
  • critical resources and knowledge
  • international agreements
  • equitable distribution
  • accountability
  • oversight
  • local context
What to do next:
Look at other essays: