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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the percentages of New Zealand smokers in the age group 18-25 years, for the period 2014 -2018.

The bar chart below shows the percentages of New Zealand smokers in the age group 18-25 years, for the period 2014 -2018.
The bar chart below represents the number of
smokers
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand in a certain
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, for the period 2014-2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that males have the biggest number of
smokers
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand . To commence with males from 25-30
age
Use synonyms
 have the biggest percentages , which made up about 43 %.
Then
Linking Words
 there were tiny differences between the 20-55
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, which accounted for approximately 33 %.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the smallest percentages showed the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 over 75 years
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, which comprised less than 10 %. When it comes to statistics of female
smokers
Use synonyms
 in the 20-25
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
, which showed the biggest number,
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 made up 32 %.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 from 20-45
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 showed similar numbers , which comprised about 30%.
Whereas
Linking Words
 females from over 70-75
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 showed the smallest percentages , which made up less than 10 %,
consequently
Linking Words
. It may be concluded that
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 from 20-25 years have the biggest amount of
smokers
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words smokers, age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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