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Band 5.5

In some countries, men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons for this development? Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

#countries #men #women #children #life #development #outweigh
In many countries, nowadays many families avoid having
children
 since they believe that spend a lot of money to maintain their life.
Also
 impacts couples' lifestyles.
For example
, the wife spends their
time
 with
children
 too much, resulting in relationship
problems
 with their husband.
This
 essay will explain the pros of not having
children
 outweigh the disadvantages. It is undeniable that the major reason for avoiding having kids is a lack of wealth. Because the
children
 have a lot of demands to maintain.
such
 as their education and diet. To emphasize
this
 problem, some parents argue that after they have
children
 that impacts
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their relationship.
Moreover
, one of the
problems
 is not having support from the government.
For instance
, the discount of taxations. Including the unemployment
problems
 in some countries,
as a result
 young age person often suffer from
this
 issue. To explain the
problems
, deciding to have
children
 at a later
time
 might have both pros and drawbacks for males and females. It can be seen that if they do not have
children
 they can save their money and invest more than have
children
.
As well as
 they can
also
 make more money from spending their
time
 overtime working.
Also
, they can enhance couples' relationships by planning a trip for travel.
Consequently
, the advantages of
this
 phenomenon still outweigh its drawbacks.
To conclude
, there are many reasons to avoid giving birth to males and females at a later
time
.
For example
, wealth
problems
, and relationship
problems
,
while
 the benefits from having
children
 later can outweigh its disadvantages.From my point of view, I believe its have advantages.
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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Task Achievement
Focus on directly addressing the essay question by clearly stating your position on the advantages and disadvantages of having children later in life. Ensure your introduction explicitly mentions this.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay more effectively with distinct paragraphs for introduction, reasons, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main idea.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, include more specific examples and evidence supporting your points. Aim for a balanced discussion on both the advantages and disadvantages.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and flow of ideas. Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure variety in your sentences.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your conclusion summarises your main points and restates your position on the topic. It should reflect upon the essay's content and provide a fitting closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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