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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons for this development? Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

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In many countries, nowadays many families avoid having
children
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 since they believe that spend a lot of money to maintain their life.
Also
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 impacts couples' lifestyles.
For example
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, the wife spends their
time
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 with
children
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 too much, resulting in relationship
problems
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 with their husband.
This
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 essay will explain the pros of not having
children
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 outweigh the disadvantages. It is undeniable that the major reason for avoiding having kids is a lack of wealth. Because the
children
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 have a lot of demands to maintain.
such
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 as their education and diet. To emphasize
this
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 problem, some parents argue that after they have
children
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 that impacts
to
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apply
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their relationship.
Moreover
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, one of the
problems
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 is not having support from the government.
For instance
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, the discount of taxations. Including the unemployment
problems
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 in some countries,
as a result
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 young age person often suffer from
this
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 issue. To explain the
problems
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, deciding to have
children
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 at a later
time
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 might have both pros and drawbacks for males and females. It can be seen that if they do not have
children
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 they can save their money and invest more than have
children
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.
As well as
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 they can
also
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 make more money from spending their
time
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 overtime working.
Also
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, they can enhance couples' relationships by planning a trip for travel.
Consequently
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, the advantages of
this
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 phenomenon still outweigh its drawbacks.
To conclude
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, there are many reasons to avoid giving birth to males and females at a later
time
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.
For example
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, wealth
problems
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, and relationship
problems
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,
while
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 the benefits from having
children
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 later can outweigh its disadvantages.From my point of view, I believe its have advantages.

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Task Achievement
Focus on directly addressing the essay question by clearly stating your position on the advantages and disadvantages of having children later in life. Ensure your introduction explicitly mentions this.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay more effectively with distinct paragraphs for introduction, reasons, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main idea.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, include more specific examples and evidence supporting your points. Aim for a balanced discussion on both the advantages and disadvantages.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and flow of ideas. Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure variety in your sentences.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your conclusion summarises your main points and restates your position on the topic. It should reflect upon the essay's content and provide a fitting closure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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