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Some people think that employee performance is a good way to measure productivity and efficiency. Others think that the number of costumers shows the potential of a healthy company. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #employee #performance #measure #productivity #efficiency #costumers #company
Some people argue that the performance of the staff denotes the success of businesses in terms of productivity and efficiency,
while
 the opponents of
this
 concept take the view that a healthy
company
 is measured by the number of
customers
.
Although
 workers play a crucial role
to enhance
Change preposition
in enhancing
show examples
 the
overall
 image of businesses, I believe that a good way to identify the success of a
company
 is the number of buyers. On the one hand, some say that if the quality of work the staff do is higher,
then
 the
company
 will be more productive and efficient.
Moreover
, they think that the
company
 will be known for its quality products, and in
this
 way, the attention of most people will be drawn to
this
company
.
For instance
, in my hometown, one
company
 hires only attentive and hard-working employees, and the boss of
this
company
 believes his
company
 will be successful in the future.
On the other hand
, others, including me, claim that the current circumstance of the
company
 in the
market-place
Correct your spelling
marketplace
show examples
 should be assessed by how many
customers
 go to the
company
 to purchase any items. The increasing number of
customers
 means that the
company
 gains a lot of revenue on a significant scale.
Besides
, it shows the dominance of
this
 business in the competitive
market-place
Correct your spelling
marketplace
show examples
. Take one online shop in Turkey as an example.
This
 shop recently has gained a lot of attention among others, and it has a lot of users. The more
customers
 remaining loyal to the sop
mean
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the more money gained. In conclusion,
while
 the success of the
company
 can be assessed by
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 work done by the staff, I would argue that how many
customers
 go to the
company
 to buy products is the key factor
to identify
Change preposition
in identifying
show examples
 a healthy business.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Begin with a brief introduction of the topic and state your thesis. Each body paragraph should introduce and develop a single main idea related to the thesis, supported by specific examples and explanations. Conclude your essay by summarizing the main ideas and restating your opinion.
Task Achievement
Develop your paragraphs more thoroughly by providing specific examples to support your main points. This makes your argument more convincing and demonstrates a wider range of language ability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices accurately to help link ideas within and between paragraphs. This includes using conjunctions, lexical phrases, and pronouns effectively. While some use was evident, varying these more will help improve the flow and clarity of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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