IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some places old age is value, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#places #age #value #cultures #youth
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There is a belief that the old are more favourable than
youngsters
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whereas
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 other areas approve
the
Change preposition
of the
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 opposition. It is the opinion of
this
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 writer that the youth should be the top priority rather than the old. It is crucial to understand that generally,
youngsters
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 are a potential workforce.
This
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 can be comprehended by monitoring the productivity, intelligence
Add the comma(s)
, as well as efficiency belonging to this group,
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as well as
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 efficiency belonging to
this
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 group are substantial.
This
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 is significantly true in many jobs pertaining to paperwork, where the vast of white-collar workers are
youngsters
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 as they own a noticeable performance.
Thus
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, young adults should be
Add an article
the leader
a leader
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leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
However
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, some individuals approve that the old
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more valuable despite their weaker performance. To explain,
this
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 group majors in specific aspects
due to
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 their profound experience, which promotes them to solve various unfamiliar tasks straightforwardly. They are right to a certain extent, but these individuals can not deal with problems which require the ability to think out of the box and make a difference.
According to
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this
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 writer's knowledge, it is advisable to focus on
youngsters
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' contributions.
This
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 is because they are healthier both regarding physical shape and mental status, meaning they are better equipped to cope with working pressure and provide innovation.
Consequently
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, businesses which employ young labourers often depict a much higher income than those rivals who have numerous old employees. Obviously,
this
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 essay has demonstrated the reasonable factors for opting for young adults to be the leaders of society.
Therefore
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, the younger age group is more
favorable
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favourable
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 than its alternative.
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task achievement
When providing a direct response to the essay question, try to make sure your opinion is clearly stated and elaborated upon throughout the essay, not just at the beginning and end. This helps ensure a complete response that thoroughly addresses the task.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of sentence structures and transitional phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance both coherence and cohesion, making your writing more fluent and easier to follow.
task achievement
To support your main points more effectively, try to include both specific examples and comprehensive explanations within your body paragraphs. This approach makes your arguments more convincing and your essay more engaging.
task achievement
While discussing both views, aim for a more balanced approach by elaborating equally on both sides. This strengthens your essay by showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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