IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinio

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification #opinio
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In recent times, some university
students
Use synonyms
 would rather
to
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apply
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learn different
subjects
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beside
Replace the word
besides
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 the main course,
while
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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others
lay
Verb problem
apply
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claim that it is not necessary to be taught a variety of topics. The in-depth analysis in the following paragraphs intends to
dicusse
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discuss
 why
this
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 essay
consider
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considers
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 learning a variety of
subjects
Use synonyms
 beneficial for
students
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. Giving all the time and attention to one subject to be successful in it could be beneficial because of all the concentration that
students
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 give to that lesson. It means that they might be absolutely professional in it and be the best expert in a specific field.
Whereas
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 not only some
subjects
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 apart from the main courses could be useful, but
also
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 they might
asisst
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assist
students
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 to get the exact meaning of the main subject better. Take literature as an example,
this
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 subject may help pupils to be more productive in their writing and speaking of the main lesson, so the importance of literature cannot be neglected.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 learning some other
subjects
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 might cause university
students
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 to lose their concentration and cannot be able to
focuse
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focus
 on their main fields, it could be completely beneficial for them to be taught some other valuable skills
such
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 as life skills which are definitely helpful for their daily
routin
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routine
 life.
For example
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, some individuals are not aware of the advantages of studying mathematics.
This
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 means that
this
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 topic
asissts
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asks
 people to promote and sharpen some skills
such
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 as
crtical
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critical
 thinking
as well as
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 problem-solving
skill
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skills
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, so these would improve their ability in their main courses too. After scrutinizing both sides, what can be concluded is that
although
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 college pupils might lose their concentration by learning other
subjets
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subjects
show examples
, having some courses
in addition
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 to the main course would be noticeably advantageous.
Submitted by royakarimi435 on

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coherence cohesion
Structure your essay clearly with an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is logically connected to the others.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas smoothly and show the relationship between paragraphs and sentences. This enhances the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the task. Discuss both views presented in the prompt and give your own opinion with a clear rationale.
task achievement
Develop your arguments with clear and comprehensive ideas. Avoid overly general statements by including more detailed explanations and examples.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. This makes your argument more convincing and engaging.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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