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Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart below shows the amount spent on different types of advertising in the USA in 2003 and 2004. The table shows the six sectors which spent the most on advertising in the USA in 2003 and 2004.

The bar chart below shows the amount spent on different types of advertising in the USA in 2003 and 2004. The table shows the six sectors which spent the most on advertising in the USA in 2003 and 2004.
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The given bar graph the
amount
Use synonyms
expend
Verb problem
spent on
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 various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of publicity in the USA the six
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
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 which spent the most on ralation over a 1
year-period
Correct your spelling
period
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 between 2003 and 2004. It can be seen from the graph that ,in 2003 and 2004, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 paid to run advertising by local newspapers was the highest among the groups, but the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 paid by network radio stations was the lowest. In general,
in
Change preposition
on
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 the
map
Add a comma
map,
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 there are a total of 6 industries, but 4 industries still maintain the highest ranking and
that is
Linking Words
 the automobile industry, and 2 industries financial services and food
beverages
Correct word choice
and beverages
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 to change. It is evident that between 2003 and 2004, local newspapers received the largest amounts of advertising funding—22
billion
Use synonyms
 and 24
billion
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Conversely
Linking Words
, Network radio allocated the smallest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 to promotion—just $1
billion
Use synonyms
 a year between 2003 and 2004. Local radio and national newspapers spent less than $10
billion
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 magazines and Network TV spent about the same
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
. Between 2003 and 2004, the top four ranking sectors stayed unchanged, with automotive continuing to be ranked first and retail coming in second. Food and beverages fall to sixth place, and Financial Services rises to the top 5 from the top 6.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, money, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 6 times.
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